review of the year 2025

When I started this blog in 2019 I wasn't expecting much to happen. This year 2025 however has been very revealing.

• contacted by author Ben Machell who told me he is writing a book about cults
• contacted by documentary maker Chris Atkins
• contacted by Ryan who as a child lived with John Yarr
• found articles in the Portsmouth Evening News - more revealing than any other articles
• found an old web site about John Yarr and Lifewave (www.johnyarr-lifewave.co.uk)
• I found out a lot more about the 2000 arrest and court case from this old site
• there was another site created by Maxine Reynolds but I haven't found it yet - need name or URL
• told about another site (https://spiritualenlightenments.weebly.com/)
• read through Paul Bennett's (Yogi Paulo) Facebook pages

When I started I assumed that John Yarr was enlightened. This year I have started considering that he was never enlightened. Some of his followers "enlightened" themselves through their own efforts. What they have is a form of nonduality but it's not true enlightenment. I used to say that there are two forms of enlightenment, one where everything seems to be part of you, and the other where there is no you. Now I can see that the first of these two states of consciousness will always be intermittent - it comes and it goes. That's not enlightenment. John Yarr may well never have had even that. He told people to meditate many hours a day and then took credit for the results.

1meditation

This post is here so that anyone searching for information about the https://1meditation.com/ group will find important information. What they don't tell you on the 1meditation site is that this group is a dangerous cult.

On one of their pages they state "This has been realised by hundreds of men and women using this meditation all over the world during a time of over 40 years". 'This meditation' has been taught by the cult known as Lifewave and before that known as SOTM.

The Lifewave cult ceased to exist in 1986 because people found out that the cult leader, John Yarr, had been abusing his followers and their children. John Yarr fled from Sussex to Leeds. He started a new cult which is called 1meditation or The Path.

They have had meetings at Global Tribe (a shop run by Bev and Mario), Hyde Park Book Club and the Friends Meeting House in Roundhay. In other cities in England too and in Australia and Colombia. People go to these meetings because they want to find out about meditation. They are not told about John Yarr and the history.

Once they have developed a loyalty to the group they are exploited. Please read some of the other posts and pages on this blog. Start with my introduction to John Yarr and his cult. You can read about what some of his most loyal followers of the past say about him now. My recent posts include words by people like Mari-Ann Barrett who was one of his first followers.

Another thing they don't tell you is the precise nature of 'this state of being' (Enlightenment). They may tell you if asked that it is something that cannot be comprehended by the mind. That's not true. When you find out what it is you might not be so willing to attain it. Neither is it true that only people in their group can find this state of being.

You don't need their initiation. If you want to meditate on the Inner Light and Sound there are ways to do that without them squeezing your eyeballs. If you are in too deep with their group don't feel that they can harm you. They can't curse you although they may say that they can. Don't feel that you will miss out on your chance for spiritual development if you leave their group. Lots of people left Lifewave, continued meditating, and got what they were hoping for - without John Yarr or Ishvara or whatever he is calling himself these days. He hasn't learned his lesson.

1meditation

view from an early disciple

This is another document written by someone in Lifewave. It was written by one of the four women who were in the Divine Light Mission with John Yarr. She might be Mari-Ann Barrett, who contributed so much to the series of articles published in the Portsmouth Evening News. Or she might be Caroline Roberts, Jan or Liz.

"HERBERT JOHN YARR ......THE MYTH (June 2000)

By an ex-Lifewave member.

Herbert John Yarr has been teaching meditation on light and sound for the last 25 years. From 1975-86 he formed the organisation called Lifewave. This folded due to allegations and disclosures about his personal behaviour, ranging from sexual abuse to harassment and intimidation.

Whilst he remained fairly low key for a couple of years he eventually began teaching again and formed a new group which was known to followers as "The path".

My interest in writing this letter is to pass on some relevant facts about his history in order to reassure anyone who at this time may be wanting to leave his "Path" but is afraid to do so for fear of recriminations and\ or the loss of the opportunity for spiritual growth.

Firstly it is important to know that what he teaches is not original. There are many accounts of meditation on light and sound throughout the scriptures - his own initiation into it came from being a follower of Divine Light Mission in 1974

Before this time he had spent several years as an army corporal . He had a private interest in occult matters particularly the art of mind control which he often boasted of using in most unethical ways. His friends and collegues at the time also knew him well for all his bragging about his sexual conquests (he boasted of having slept with a different woman every night for a year), and aptly named him Dirty Dingus Mc Gee. His nickname was Dingus for the next few years until he decided to rename himself with a more fitting title (Ishvara). Translated, this means Lord of The Universe.

With hindsight it is clear to see that at the time of meeting up with those of us who were to become his first followers, the unusually self obsessed and controlling aspects that made up his personality were fertile ground for his transcendence to the new Messiah.

In 1975 his following was small (4 actually), but even at that stage he was already developing sexual relationships with those female devotees of whom I was one.

Although inspired greatly by our own belief in his elevated position we did in those first few years , through our own effort, and long hours spent meditating, experience states of bliss and spiritual awakenings. Only after several years did Yarr see the benefit of linking peoples spiritual revelations to his` Grace` to enhance his own position of power, thus creating the myth.

Unfortunately many of the truths about Yarr have become cloudy and mystified over time and of course conveniently withheld from his followers.

I lived with John Yarr for over 10 years in various houses, most of the time believing in him in the same way followers do now. I would have died for him and may have even killed for him. My life was utterly tied up with him and I could see no other life or world except his. Over the dozens of times I wanted to leave, because of the great despair and isolation I experienced, I felt utterly hopeless because there was seemingly nowhere to go. The world outside the organisation and the people in it were the 'Anti Christ' and the only life I could lead that wouldn't plunge me into darkest hell and damnation was his.

The worst harm he has done and continues to do is in the way in which he divides and rules. In order to maintain his position of power he spreads gossip amongst the followers about those with whom he is having secret affairs so they can end up feeling persecuted, isolated and bereft of enough credibility to be believed by anyone, were they to try to confront him.

Fortunately, (probably) because I was living so intimately with him I was able to finally see the situation more clearly and eventually confront him and moved out.

Despite the many times I have witnessed Yarr and his close followers perform ritualised curses on those who wanted to leave him, over the 10 years I lived with him and the 14 years since I left him nobody has ever fallen victim to any of his sick and cruel designs for them. He would of course attribute anything unfortunate that happened to them or their families as his work.

There is too much about my time with him to write here, but having talked recently to some of his current followers, some having been near to suicide and having been reminded of his tyranical ways, I really want to reassure anyone that this man , in his own right, without the power you give him, is simply a very complex and disturbed man capable of many a temper tantrum and who, when confronted displays great cowardice and fear.

Curses and threats only have a chance of working if we believe in them. It is ourselves that give meaning to them.and it is in this way that Yarr literally 'plays on peoples fears'.

Unfortunately Yarr's intimidations don't only take the shape of secret rituals. In the time I knew him there were several incidents of attempted assaults by groups of (usually male) followers on direct instruction from Yarr. These were often on vulnerable young women and on some occasions police protection was sought. This is, of course criminal behaviour and if reported is taken extremely seriously. However in many instances in the past the persecuted individual has been too afraid to lay any charges. Anyone wishing to leave him at this time can be reassured that because of recent events (April - September 2000) Mr. Yarr is most likely to be on his best behaviour at the moment.

Yarr has a huge amount of philosophical and spiritual clarity and can present himself as a powerfully charismatic man, I know this, but unfortunately because of his stunted and detatched emotional state, wherein he actually believes himself to be beyond the concepts of right and wrong, he is capable of great cruelty.

There are people even now who left his organisation 15 years ago who still have psychological scars from their time with him. The thrust of his teaching is based on detachment. This is of course a valuable concept. However when it is not balanced with a wholesome emotional development it becomes a very polarised and potentially cold and cut off condition.

I know from my time with him that even when he had a couple of breakdowns, around 84-86, he was totally unable to gain insight into the issues causing them. His answer is to meditate and to meditate more. (Although even he at that time was unable to follow his own advice).

I am very sorry for anyone whose lives seem to have been taken over by Yarr - in their real and honest desire to find spiritual truths, but I have found that without him as part of the equation there is no less of a possibility of knowing those truths.

Please take a good look at this man. The facts, the history,, the people who have known him well. See the consistency of his abusive behaviour, the lives he has hurt, the marriages he has broken up, the number of people needing psychological support and the families he has torn apart and worst of all the power he has over you.

I wish you well in retrieving what is rightfully yours and seeing that without what you give him he is no more powerful in your life than you want him to be.

And I wish you all the best in your spiritual aspirations. None of any of our efforts in that direction have been wasted."

John Yarr

view from a former Adept

In 2019 I posted a document on this blog. I found it on a forum. I didn't know who had written it but now I have found out. It was written by someone called AK, one of the Adepts in Lifewave. It was written in 1986. There is another document by him, written in 2000. I thought it is interesting so I have copied it and put it here.

"SOME REFLECTIONS ON LIFEWAVE AND JOHN YARR 14 YEARS ON. (June 2000)

by AK, May 2000

In Sept 1986 I wrote an article about Lifewave at the time of its dissolution and photocopies of my handwritten article were circulated at that time to many initiates and members of the organisation.

A few weeks earlier, in August 1986, I had written a letter to John Yarr (circulated too at the time but not now in my possession) which was, for me, the beginning of a process of helping to expose some truths about him which were not widely known: the letter led to a meeting between him and about eight adepts (including myself) in which we confronted him collectively with our concerns and allegations: the outline of these accusations and his reply are covered in my article.

These allegations amounted to an accusation of serious criminal activity which he had not been able to answer satisfactorily. While the police were approached at the time, the victims were not in a position to give statements and the case has only now been gathered by the police (April 2000) with sufficiently robust evidence to lead to his arrest and appearance at Chichester Magistrates Court.

Without prejudicing the case it is not possible to describe the allegations in detail, but they were broadly known by many adepts and many others who made enquiries in 1986. Undoubtedly they were for me and many others the 'final straw' in displacing his image in my mind as the perfect master, and in causing me to have to question the whole ethical base of his authority, both organisationally and spiritually. I was struck then and remain astounded by his inability to be honest and humble enough to acknowledge how badly and persistently he had hurt and let people down: I felt this lack of empathy coupled with sexual perversion and emotional cowardice were all intolerable in a man claiming his position and wisdom.

Looking back now I consider that he was responsible for the following effects on people that I am aware of , with whom I have either talked or heard about from someone who has, (and my estimate in brackets for the number of people I am aware of having been affected in the UK ):

• Vindictive gossip and rumour mongering, spreading lies and disrespectful stories (dozens)
• Unethical and abusive therapeutic practices - examinations, manipulations,etc (dozens)
• Psychiatric events and ilnesses (selfharming attempts, depressions, admissions), (five-ten)
• Marriage breakups including false prophecies about husbands' deaths etc (6)
• False promises of marriage to himself (several, possibly more than a dozen)
• Abuse of his position of power and trust with women for his sexual needs (dozens)
• Threats of intimidation and damnation to people leaving his organisation (dozens)
• Malicious occult practices visualising or wishing ritualised harm to people (four)

In addition to all this has been his obsessive use of pornographic magazines and videos (several times a week over years), and the likelihood that he has not meditated himself much, if at all, for years.

Having seen for myself the true nature and impact of his shadow side and his lack of respect for people who had given their lives and love to him and the reflection of this throughout his organisation, including my own ways of thinking, made me absolutely sure in 1986 that I could not be part of any structure supporting him. It would be basically unethical as I had to recognise how my naivety and gullible eagerness had added to his power and the collective abuse of many vulnerable individuals.

I felt he had totally betrayed my trust and irrevocably compromised my integrity as his follower and teacher so I lost my loyalty to him and to Lifewave as an organisation, having been completely committed and devoted for a number of years. Needless to say I found this a difficult and confusing time. I was disappointed but not completely surprised by the extent of denial of the accusations and support for himself that he managed to muster to enable him to carry on after the dissolution of Lifewave. Those older initiates who knew of the allegations but who did not help expose him or kept supporting him may not have known enough, had a warped sense of values or imagined that the realities of the meditation somehow made it all allright: I still think they have much to answer for.

From meeting with and talking to 'ex-members' over the last few years I do not now think there is or was one experience nor one truth about Lifewave: everyone has a different story to tell about it both spiritually and organisationally. People also had very different experiences of joining and leaving, from having found it after years of spiritual practices to coming along with a partner or a group of friends, from being 'sent away' to leaving at the time of Lifewave's disbanding in 1986. Some people had fairly benign experiences of the lifestyle changes, while for others the path led to major sacrifices and losses and considerable trauma.

My own particular experience of Lifewave had been relatively free of trauma: I found the meditation profoundly inspiring and liberating. I loved the sense of belonging to a community of like-minds and fellow devotees, and learnt a great deal about philosophy, psychology and complementary medicine amongst many other subjects. I also found John Yarr very charismatic and inspiring, often apparently very caring, with an incisive mind and an apparently encyclopaedic knowledge. These qualities are what made confronting him and myself with the truth about his other side and the ending of Lifewave initially confusing and difficult: belief in his grace and fear of his power over me took months, even years to dismantle.

As for making sense of spirituality after Lifewave, I have found my path has been much less clear, and dominated by knowing what I do not want or cannot support, rather than knowing where to place my devotions and energies. Having a guru, belonging to a group, or following any path with a map certainly simplifies many complications in life. Without these it is easy to become cynical of the whole 'spiritual' trip, the self-rightiousness and introspection, the gap between theory and ideals and practical reality. I have also been tempted to dismiss all teaching and gurus. But I now see these as structures which help some people grow at some stages in their lives (as worked for me), but which may well need to be removed to allow another phase of growth (as also happened for me). Behind all this I find there is a constant whisper from my soul in many situations reminding me of my source and 'home', and a real strength from the knowledge of meditation.

Since Lifewave I have been particularly helped and inspired by nature, the world of the senses and by movement and dance as expressions of spirit: finding ways of grounding my energy through my body has helped me make sense (literally) of the realisations and connection with light and sound which I had gained through meditation and Lifewave. Learning about female ways of knowing and allowing and receiving not straining and pushing for spiritual truths, and trusting power with others rather than power over others, have also been important. I have learned much from being part of groups and organisations that are aware of the dangers of hierarchies and explicitly explore alternative methods or rituals using circles and networks, and consciously pay attention to the 'people on the edge' whose views are usually as revealing as those of the leaders or people at the 'centre'. Some of all this I have been taught by people with disabilities through my work: they have given me some profound spiritual teachings, especially that every human interaction is two-way not one-way.

I am certainly glad that I am free of the fearful intolerance, arrogant fanaticism and intimidation that I learnt from Lifewave (and sometimes copied from John Yarr) and I am glad to find that I can be myself more fully now, the same and different as every one else, enlightened or not!

So I have no conclusions to share, but some observations: however difficult and shaming it was to have gone through an experience like Lifewave and to attempt to understand someone as complex and confusing as John Yarr and the devotion he inspired in people like me, I do think I have learned much from both going into it all and coming out of it, though I regret all the hurt he and the organisation caused. Talking about it all is a good way of piecing the jigsaw together. I would like to give people who are still involved with John Yarr personally or his path the information they need about his dark and shady side: they can then make up their own minds and not feel they are damned for all eternity by the Lord of the Universe if they recognise that he has damaged many people's lives and may yet be convicted of serious crimes. I would also like him to fully face the consequences of what he has done and his responsibilities, and be prevented from causing further harm.

More than all this, I want to keep a love of the truth and of sacred teachings and realisations alive in my life and in the lives of people I have contact with, so that we help each other sharpen our minds and open our hearts and, learning from the mistakes of the past, keep true to our deepest wisdom and aspiration in each new day."

John Yarr

Cult cost my peace of mind

18/04/1987 Portsmouth Evening News

most of this text is difficult to read so there is a digital version below the image

see here for the other stories about John Yarr in the Portsmouth Evening News

Your Letters

Cult cost my peace of mind

- and my home

I HAVE just read the articles about John Yarr in The News. I knew Mari-Anne from my involvement in the organization and I am very relieved that, after so long, some of the facts are coming to light and people can be told the full extent of this manipulative and arrogant group of people who called themselves Lifewave (and now, I see, SAST)

They hid themselves behind a front of the highest spiritual values and moral purity, yet I have spent the last nine months recovering from my own nightmare involvement with the cult which cost me my peace of mind, my home, and my marriage.

I was "initiated" into Lifewave with my husband in 1978. Later, we became aware that things were not quite right, that there was a sort of hierarchy, a political aspect to the organization with hints of scandals, intrigues, and cover-ups, but there was a strict ban by Yarr on all gossip in the organization.

We began to mistrust many of the teachers we had loved. Yarr still had us under his spell, though, and we would do what he said through fear of rejection, mostly.

My husband and I felt under a constant pressure when all we wanted was to live a normal life using certain values which Lifewave propounded as morally good and sound.

I wished to have children, as I felt that it was natural, yet every time the subject came up with Yarr he tried to dissuade me or make me feel guilty or selfish, making it clear that it could only hinder my progress for many years.

Consequently, I was torn and confused. I felt, too, a lack of privacy. I happened to live near to Yarr and he used to call round when I was alone and chat to me. Once he asked me lots of questions about my sex life and asked me if I fancied him.

My house was used like a hotel with people constantly being asked to stay or to spend many days in meditation. I would have to feed these people twice a day. I felt unable to refuse because that refusal would look like selfishness and ego in the Teacher's eyes and again we were warned of the dangers of materialism.

We felt bound hand and foot, as though our every move was being watched and judged. All this time we were trying to run a business and keep our livelihood going and our mortgage paid.

Then we were asked to go and teach in India for six months and, on our return, we could expect to be given our "Adeptship."

We duly went and, in the meantime, our house continued to be used as a hotel (even though we continued to pay the mortgage ourselves!). Also, our brand new car was smashed up while in use by Yarr's household. The insurance claim was neglected so we never got much compensation.

On our return from India, it became clear to us that something was wrong in Lifewave. No one spoke to us about the trip or about our prayers. The business had failed through neglect and lack of time and money. Our lives were not our own any more. All this had become too much for me and my husband.

We realized how unhappy we had become. We felt as though we had failed due to the stress of this lifestyle and the distractions of trying to please the demanding Mr. Yarr.

So we lost our home, and my husband broke down, becoming very suspicious, nervous, and distressed. He felt victimized, unloved, and untrusted by Yarr and his Adepts.

Yarr had always asked to see me a lot on the grounds of claiming my health needed attention and that my spine was not good. He gave me continual weekly treatments with acupuncture, homeopathy, and massage yet he hardly ever asked to see my husband who was just as loyally devoted.

My husband finally left the organization; he just couldn't cope with the stress any longer. I was then faced with a "Gestapo-like" interrogation at the hands of two of the Adepts.

They made me feel guilty over my natural desire to stay with my husband and make the marriage work. They said I had to choose between him or Yarr. They said either I stayed with Yarr or went with my husband in which case they would regard my loyalty as suspect.

I was by this time in no fit state to make any decision. I was broken, with no fight left in me, and utterly confused. The Adepts just sat there, cold and detached, while I sobbed and felt utterly desolate

Is it surprising that I feel duped and cheated and bitter now that the truth is finally out?

I have just recovered from a period of shattered confidence and anxiety attacks which this chain of events caused. My health is at last back to normal and I am building a new life.

I feel very much for Mari-Anne and many others like her who suffered far more than I did at the hands of these fanatics, and I wish no one else to ever suffer the kind of psychological torture we suffered under Yarr.

An older and wiser ex-member of Lifewave.

Congratulations, Frances Hardy

1 AM writing to congratulate Frances Hardy on her excellent expose of John Yarr, self-styled Messiah and founder of the now-defunct Lifewave.

As an ex-member of the organization, I can vouch for her revelations of the intimidation and endless brainwashing forced upon us. Many of us were afraid to leave through fear of reprisals and tales of what might happen and so had to endure the emotional pain it caused.

It is how quite apparent that this con man used the guise of truth and spirituality to enable him to satisfy his personal ends. Any good that he claims to have done was purely coincidental and was achieved through the hard work of the people with him.

This evil man must never be let loose on the unsuspecting public again - AJ.P., Chichester.

CULT 'GOD' IN HIDING

08/04/1987 Portsmouth Evening News

most of this text is difficult to read so there is a digital version below the image

see here for the other stories about John Yarr in the Portsmouth Evening News

The News

City Final

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 8, 1987

CULT 'GOD' IN HIDING

'Master' in sex scandal claims

NEWS EXCLUSIVE by FRANCES HARDY

THE SELF-STYLED God of the Lifewave religious cult has fled his luxury West Sussex home and gone into hiding, amid a string of sex allegations.

The 2,000-member organization founded in Portsmouth by John Yarr has collapsed amid allegations that Yarr - who termed himself Ishvara, or the Perfect Master - kept a "harem" of female devotees and abused his power to molest attractive women recruits.

Yarr demanded celibacy of his unmarried disciples, but hypocritically indulged his own voracious sexual appetites in a string of clandestine affairs.

Countless women devotees fell under his spell between 1974 and 1986, followers say. For 12 years the former film processor at Marconi, Portsmouth, hoodwinked them all, vowing loyalty and devotion to each one. And in a grotesque abuse of trust, he used his power as the "Messiah" to lure women and sexually assault them. Under hypnosis it is claimed he persuaded women devotees to recount lurid details of their sexual experiences.

And under the guise of teaching them yoga and meditation techniques and freeing them from sexual inhibitions, former members revealed, he would molest attractive female recruits.

The downfall of Yarr's empire was brought about by his own disciples. His sinister abuse and manipulation of his power came to me to light when one by one his lovers realized they had been deceived. Followers who had been steadfastly loyal to their god for 12 years, have now deserted him en masse. Yarr has fled from and sold the £150,000 home at Slindon, near Arundel, he bought with cult members' gifts three years ago.

At a secret meeting in the Midlands last month, infiltrated by The News, the sect was officially dissolved. But John Yarr was nowhere in evidence.

Yarr, a 39-year-old Irishman, is being guarded by a caucus of still-loyal followers at a secret hideaway at Abingdon, Oxfordshire.

Only a handful of disciples know where he is - and they are refusing to disclose his whereabouts.

Meanwhile, disaffected cult members fear he could resurface as a "spiritual teacher" once the furore over his sexual misdemeanours dies down.

Even as the meeting, called formally to disband Lifewave, was taking place, a group of faithful Yarr disciples were setting up a splinter group called Seekers After Spiritual Truth, (S.A.S.T.)

Although he claimed to espouse the simple, celibate life, Yarr was in fact a greedy, vain and self-obsessed sexual pervert, say former followers.

While his followers adhered to a strictly monogamous sexual code, Yarr furtively indulged his own sexual appetite with his mistresses.

He flew into jealous rages when members of his "harem" grew attached to other men. He ordered henchmen to "curse" disloyal devotees.

Six of Yarr's "adepts" (spiritual teachers) have had nervous breakdowns and many are receiving psychiatric treatment. One has attempted suicide and one is still living as a recluse.

[picture]ABOVE, neo-Tudor splendour in the heart of the West Sussex countryside: the £150,000 house in which "God" lived.

[picture]JOHN YARR the man thousands called "God." Devotees were each issued with this photograph as a devotional aid.

In a series of exclusive interviews with former followers, News reporter Frances Hardy reveals the sordid truth behind the fallen idol. See Page 6.

Dream world of a neurotic 'Messiah'

10/04/1987 Portsmouth Evening News

most of this text is difficult to read so there is a digital version below the image

see here for the other stories about John Yarr in the Portsmouth Evening News

News Investigation

Dream world of a neurotic 'Messiah'

THE EARTHLY empire of John Yarr, "God" of the Lifewave religious cult, has crumbled.

Yarr's exposure and ruin were brought about by his own disciples, who have accused him of molesting female recruits and keeping a string of mistresses, while demanding celibacy of his unmarried disciples.

Today in the third of an exclusive series of News interviews, reporter Frances Hardy reveals the humble origins of the "God" who lived in a secluded West Sussex village.

JOHN Yarr lived in a Walter Mitty world where fact and fantasy mingled.

He told followers he had trained for the S.A.S. In fact he had been a corporal in the Royal Signals.

Yarr was born and brought up in a modest Belfast house. His father worked for the council and his mother stayed at home bringing up Yarr and his younger sister. Devotees were fed with stories of how he won a scholarship, but was unable to take it up because the family was poor.

At secondary school he shone in art and was an articulate and charismatic personality.

EXCLUSIVE By Frances Hardy

After school he had jobs as a carpenter before joining the Army, where he stayed for ten years.

In Portsmouth he worked for Marconi as a film processor

A Portsmouth Lifewave member who knew Yarr well said: "His stories got wilder as the years went on.

"Most of them were utter Blarney. "He used to talk as if he was commanding troops in the Army. In fact he was a corporal.

"He lived in a dream world and he actually believed in it."

Yet women fell for Yarr, a short and unprepossessing man who is now approaching 40 and losing his hair.

Devotees who are appalled and sickened by his actions, describe his personality as "mesmeric", "powerful", "impressive" and "hypnotic".

Dangerous

Said a longterm Lifewave member who did not wish to be named: "He is a great actor. If he is caught out he will turn on the tears like a little child.

There is a side of him which is completely neurotic. The dangerous side of him is that he will appear charismatic and charming."

Yarr wrote in a pamphlet devoted to himself and his spiritual teachings: "Because I have never been born I will never die.

Yet followers say he is plagued by fears of death and ageing.

"He is a hypochondriac. He is obsessed with getting old.

"He is a pathetic character."

Obsession

Yarr's other obsession is women.

While his loyal followers were enduring a celibate life he indulged his insatiable sexual appetite with a string of mistresses.

"He loved to have women adore him. He would not tolerate it if they looked at other men."

Attractive women progressed with uncanny speed in the spiritual hierarchy. Those selected to become his "adepts" or spiritual teachers often also became his lovers and were invariably beautiful and intelligent.

Members who adhered rigidly to the celibacy law are infuriated by Yarr's hypocrisy.

Said Marek Liponoga, a 24-year-old psychologist: "I obeyed the celibacy rule for three years and it nearly killed me.

"I couldn't have cared less if John Yarr had had a harem. What I am angry about is his hypocrisy."

---

'MISSIONARY' ZEAL

LIFEWAVE spread worldwide from its small beginnings in Portsmouth.

In its heyday the organization had several thousand followers worldwide. Teaching "adepts" were sent on missionary expeditions to the Third World to recruit among the poor of India, Tanzania and South America.

A group was set up in the Breda, Holland and another in Geneva, Switzerland.

Yarr's first followers rented a house in Stubbington, and the organization quickly spread throughout the south. Centres were established in Chichester, Southampton, Winchester, Brighton, Bristol, and Farnham

Yarr's teachers touted for members among the well-heeled and intelligent youngsters at Southampton University. Many young professionals fell under his spell.

Yarr's still-loyal supporters are based in Leeds where the organization has its administrative head- quarters.

Centres were also set up in the Philippines, U.S.A., Australia, New Zealand and Germany.

---

Hypocrite who still inspires loyalty

A GROUP of former Lifewave members are still supporting John Yarr as a spiritual teacher, although they stress they deplore his behaviour.

Several Yarr supporters have declined to speak to The News, but one, Bristol lecturer Geoff Mullett, agreed to defend Ishvara.

"I am sure there would be hardly anyone who would deny he has power. I will say categorically that my enlightenment came from John (Yarr).

"What we do not know is whether it is possible to become enlightened without him," said Mr. Mullett (37), a Lifewave member for ten years.

Asked to define enlightenment he said: "It is very difficult unless you have actually experienced spirituality to describe it."

Asked to define Yarr's power, he said: "He has helped people through illness, turned them off drugs and cured someone of dyslexia."

Mr. Mullett, a teetotaller and vegetarian since he joined Lifewave, said: "The organization taught me the value of inner strength and inner knowledge which lasts a lot longer than materialism."

What next?

Asked about Yarr's alleged greed, he said: "People used to donate gifts to him as you would want to do to the Royal Family if you were an ardent Royalist.

"It got to the point when he was like the child who has everything. People were saying. 'What the heck can we give him next?"

"That is why he had lots of gadgetry."

Yarr had quietly helped devotees through financial crises, giving thousands of pounds away, said Mr. Mullett.

"He paid for new cars for some adepts, but he did not advertise the fact."

The Lifewave laws on celibacy before marriage and fidelity to one lifelong marriage partner were "just common sense", said Mr. Mullett.

Asked about Yarr's sexual activities, Mr. Mullett said: "He preached one thing and practised another. It did not alter what he gave us spiritually.

"He has undone a lot of good and that has let us down."

Mr. Mullett said Yarr had fled Slindon with adepts Dennis Simmonds and Simon Bowes because they had endured attacks from vengeful Lifewave members.

"Stones were thrown through the windows and people were demanding money. They left for peace and quiet."

He declined to say where John Yarr is hiding.

Yarr-the 'god' with all mod cons

09/04/1987 Portsmouth Evening News

most of this text is difficult to read so there is a digital version below the image

see here for the other stories about John Yarr in the Portsmouth Evening News

News Investigation

Yarr - the 'god'

with all

mod cons

"GOD" lived lavishly in a luxury house in the heart of the West Sussex countryside. Such was John Yarr's arrogance, he even called his £150,000 home in the exclusive village of Slindon, "Shambala" - the Tibetan word for House of the Gods.

Guarded by two Lifewave "minders", Simon Bowes and Dennis Simmonds, the small Irishman, who called himself Ishvara: The Perfect Master, lived like a recluse.

His four-bedroomed neo-Tudor home was protected by ultra-sonic burglar alarms and he kept a Dobermann Pinscher.

Even next-door neighbours in the select and picturesque village did not know his name. But they watched, intrigued, as a succession of guests came and went.

EXCLUSIVE

By France's Hardy

Said neighbour Mrs. Lynn Beadle: "They were very secretive. If you asked anything about their personal life it was as if a shutter came down.

"We only knew them by Christian names or nicknames. Some were very friendly, others stand-offish.

Yarr was obsessive about keeping his own identity secret. The select caucus of men and women devotees who shared his house let nobody outside Lifewave know their relationship. with the man they worshipped.

Yarr, who demanded ten per cent. of his devotees' incomes, bought the house with money given him by Lifewave members.

Greedy

He was also showered with gifts of jewels from followers worldwide, and he asked for precious stones from his disciples which he claimed helped with his healing arts.

Said Mari-Ann Barrett, who was among the chosen devotees who shared the Slindon home with Yarr: "He lived lavishly. He was always out buying some new piece of gadgetry. He became more and more greedy.

Writer John Milan, a Lifewave member for two years, said: "Originally people would make donations to John Yarr. Later he said he would only take 10 per cent. and give the rest to the organization.

"He used to get living expenses and around £200 a week pocket money. He had a box of jewellery rubies and diamonds which he would take great pleasure in showing people."

Liar

Yarr sold his Slindon home in December last year and fled with his henchmen Simmonds and Bowes, leaving no forwarding address.

An inveterate liar, Yarr had told the family who bought his house that he was a chiropractor (practitioner who manipulates the spine to cure illness). He said he lived there with his son and daughter. The new owners moved in and found nothing to indicate that "God" had dwelt in the house. Only a few incense sticks and shells were left as evidence of Yarr's empire. He even took with him the sign that read Shambala...

---

THE SELF-STYLED god of the religious cult Lifewave has fled his luxury West Sussex home and gone into hiding. The organization he founded has collapsed amid revelations that John Yarr, who called himself the Messiah, hypocritically kept his own "harem" of lovers while demanding celibacy of his unmarried recruits.

Day two of an exclusive series of Interviews looks at the earthly home of "God" in the select village of Slindon.

[picture]"GOD'S" MINDERS...Simon Bowes (left) and Dennis Simmonds

The Perfect Master's trick

JOHN YARR'S spiritual empire was founded on an elaborate con trick. He convinced his disciples that he was the Perfect Master and only he could lead followers on the divine journey to spiritual enlightenment.

Many devotees paid £500 for "enlightenment" believing Ishvara was the only being capable of conferring this spiritual state. One boy was made an "adept" (spiritual teacher) of the organization when he was seven years old. At 18 he now admits that he did not understand the concept of enlightenment and pretended to possess spiritual powers to please Yarr.

Now their "heavenly king" is dethroned, the vast majority of Lifewave members believe he doesn't hold exclusive worldwide rights to enlightenment. But a cluster of "hardliners" shielding Yarr, still believe he is the supreme spiritual teacher and that they were enlightened through his power.

Lifewave funds stood at £170,000 when the organization was formally dissolved at the meeting in the Midlands last week. The money is all to be refunded to ex-members of the now defunct organisation.

---

[picture]The evil John Yarr and (above) his former lair, a luxurious £150,000 house in Slindon.

---

Despair of his disciples

THE PRESSURE of Lifewave's demands on its disciples left some suicidal and others mentally scarred.

A doctor, who treated members of the sect and was himself a follower of Yarr for six years, said: "The lifestyle suited only a very small proportion of members

"The celibate existence- the fact that relationships were frowned upon gave rise to a great deal of sexual frustration."

The doctor, who declined to be named for professional reasons, said: "For many the organization gave companionship, a goal and purpose. It was an ideal they gave their lives to.

"But there was pressure on people to conform. They were told where to live and who to live with. They had to hold down jobs, attend meetings and meditate for two hours a day. The lifestyle dissolved certain tensions and pressures, but created others.

Intimidation and fear

"There was a great feeling of being watched. You had to be seen to be doing the right things. There was a constant unspoken fear."

Those who stepped out of line or questioned the word of autocratic "adepts" were "sent away".

"Heavies" were sent round to threaten people who left, said the doctor. "Those who left were subjected to intimidation and fear."

Some were even "cursed".

"If you were cursed by someone you believed was the Lord of Creation it would have a traumatic effect." One woman who was cursed is still in hiding, afraid to reveal her whereabouts.

"Six people have attempted suicide. I certainly know of one person who had fits which were resolved when she left the movement.

"Another person endured stomach pains; another spent years suffering from insomnia and panic attacks."

Initiations in 2018

This shows that somebody was initiating in 2018. 'Yogi Paulo' is the man that I knew as Paul Bennett. He died not long ago. He was quite high up in Liverpool Lifewave. I found this on his Facebook page. The 'fully Enlightened teacher' doing the initiations is it seems Nick Howell, who is the UK/worldwide coordinator for Lightwave. Lightwave seems to be a replacement for Lifewave. I would like to know more about Nick and Mary Howell and Lightwave. I have put what little I know about them and other continuations of the Lifewave cult on a new page here.

 

On Paul Bennett's Facebook page he said that the had met many gurus. One of them was Mooji - he spent 5 days with him in Wales. He doesn't say anything about John Yarr though. Perhaps he was ashamed to be associated with Yarr. Yogi Paulo claimed to be the cousin of Ringo Starr. He also called himself Paul Stellini and spent a lot of time in Malta.

Paul Bennet, also known as Paul Stellini, also known as Yogi Paulo

Yogi Paulo was 'found dead at sea' in early 2022 in Malta.

---

This is what Yogi Paulo (Paul Bennett) wrote on his Facebook page.

I have been on a spiritual path for 50 years, I now know this and more, since I received enlightenment on the 29th December 2018, through the grace of The Lord's of Light.

It is only when we know what we are more deeply can we truly live life. Before this event, I was quite aware as I'd had an awakening via another guide in Dec 2005, but it slowly faded away over a period of six months, and I then felt similar to how I'd felt before, stuck in my ego self, frustrated, with no peace of mind and disappointment, with no visible way forward.

I've been to see Eugene Halliday, Amma and Mother Meera, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Guru Maharaji, Guru Raj, Shiva Bala Yogi, Ted Strauss, Andrew Cohen, Mooji, Satyanand and many other teachers and Masters, who I think are really good examples of embodied spirituality which have all helped indeed,(I really mean that) but they did not have the effect on me that I did have, when Nick Howel (Lightwave World Coordinator) touched my third eye on that special day of Divine Grace.

---

Lightwave Meditation Society - Merseyside and Malta

November 26, 2018  · 

LIFEWAVE'S, THE ASCENSION

THE UK's MOST PROFOUND SPIRITUAL EVENT

WILL BE HELD ON DECEMBER 29TH ON THE WIRRAL, MERSEYSIDE.

THE OPENING/ACTIVATION OF THE CROWN CHAKRA (INITIATION) REVEALING THE DIVINE LIGHT AND DIVINE SOUND, WHICH ARE THEN MEDITATED UPON UNTIL FULL ENLIGHTENMENT IS REACHED, OVER 300 HAVE ALREADY ATTAINED THAT HIGHEST OF SPIRITUAL STATES.

LIGHTWAVE IS A REAL SPIRITUAL PATH THAT DELIVERS THE GOODS, IT HAS A BEGINNING, A MIDDLE AND AN END, WHICH WE CAN ALL REACH.

NO GURU, NO TEACHINGS, AND IT'S ALL FREE, NO FEES WHATSOEVER, AS IT SHOULD BE!

A fully Enlightened teacher will be coming up to Merseyside UK to open the Thousand Petaled lotus in people who seek initiation revealing The Divine Light and Sound which is a vehicle for full spiritual Enlightenment.

300 have already attained that highest of states to date.

If you are interested in initiation contact me to start the process, on FB Yogi Paulo Meditation and checkout spiritual hierarchy.com or light and sound meditation.com

Cheers,

Yogi Paulo.

information about John Yarr

I have been contacted by someone who is making a film about the band James. He wants to use the photograph that I have of John Yarr but needs to be certain that it is actually him. I said that I think it is him but I can't be 100% sure. What I am hoping is that people who have seen him more than I did could confirm that the photo is definitely him. Or not. Also, if anybody has any photographs of Yarr of their own or press clippings or any interesting material they could send them to me and I can pass them on and maybe put them on this blog. andrewmclarenlewis@gmail.com

is he the one?

Tim Booth radio interview

Tim Booth is the singer in the band James. In the 1980s he was part of Lifewave in Manchester. I remember sharing a bus journey into Manchester with him. I also remember fellow band member Jimmy and his wife Jenny.

Tim recently did an hour-long interview broadcast on the radio a few days ago. He mentions Lifewave but only briefly. He said he did long hours of meditation. These days he is more interested in drugs such as psilocybin, mostly for its therapeutic purposes.

The interview can be heard here.

There is another interview in the Independent newspaper James: ‘We were so hopelessly indie-schmindie it made Belle and Sebastian look like Whitesnake’. They have a new album. This interview has 3 paragraphs about Lifewave, mentioning John Yarr by name. I didn't realise that one of the ‘enlightened teachers’ went round and beat him up.

what enlightenment isn't

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

On this blog I have given my opinion of what I think enlightenment is. Many will disagree with me. So I am devoting this post to what people think enlightenment is. I think there are three aspects to enlightenment.

1. overcoming the cycle of birth and rebirth
2. seeing reality instead of illusion
3. personal development

overcoming the cycle of birth and rebirth
Hindus and Buddhists believe in reincarnation. The idea though is to escape from having to return to this world. If you become enlightened then you no longer need to return to this world. If you meditate but don't become enlightened then you will have a happier life next time round.

seeing reality instead of illusion
In the film The Matrix there is the idea that what we think is reality isn't reality. You can do something to know true reality. In the film you can take the red pill to see reality. In real life you can meditate. Gradually you will see through illusion. Nondualists will say that direct pointing will allow you to see reality, it isn't a gradual process.

personal development
You can become less greedy and angry, more emotionally stable, and more compassionate. You can overcome your neuroses and conditioning. By the time that someone becomes enlightened they will have overcome all of these problems to become a perfected human being - so some people think.

They will not exploit their followers financially or sexually. They don't have powerful drives, and even when they do have drives they wouldn't want to see their followers suffer. They are aware of the suffering of others and wouldn't want to do anything which would create it. A paedophile isn't just someone who has a sexual attraction towards children, they are also someone who can look into the eyes of a child, see the confusion and distress, yet go ahead and do it anyway.

Enlightenment in my opinion has nothing to do with personal development. It is merely to do with overcoming the subject/object dichotomy. An enlightened person can be greedy, angry, emotionally unstable and neurotic. He or she can lack compassion. It might even be that enlightenment makes all of these things worse.

I used to think that overcoming desire was the way to escape reincarnation. Greed and anger are what pulls us back to this world. This is something that many Buddhists believe. When greed and anger are gone, then we are free. I don't believe this anymore. I don't believe in life after death and I don't believe that meditation can reduce anger and greed let alone eliminate them.

Neither do I believe that high altered states of consciousness are levels of reality that we can go to when we die and stay there. I don't believe that our Atman can merge with Brahman. I think Atman and Brahman are concepts that derive from one particular state of consciousness.

If you have a shift in your consciousness after doing intense meditation for a long time you might look at something and see it as part of you. Everything you look at seems to be part of you. This is your perception but it is a false perception. It isn't true that everything is part of you. It is an illusion. All that's happened is that part of your brain is no longer working normally. It can no longer distinguish between subject and object.

You can interpret your new perception in terms of Hindu philosophy or in mystical terms. Union with Brahman or God. When you see what it is though it's easier to see it in terms of altered brain functioning. Not only can an enlightened person not be able to see the thought of others (you would think they could if they are really one with everything and everyone), they can't even see the suffering of people around them. They are indifferent to it.

You might think that if everything is part of you then there is nothing outside you that you would need. You would think that but experience shows us that this is not the case. You would think that someone would be less controlled by instinctive drives, but it could be that people become more impulsive not less.

I used to think that meditation and enlightenment were spiritual, in the sense that I believed that you could experience higher levels of reality, expand your higher self, and purify your lower self. I know that sounds vague, but I won't elaborate on that here now. Then when I realised that there aren't any higher levels of reality, I thought that it was something psychological, in the sense that it could make you a more contented person. Now I can see that this doesn't happen, it doesn't make you a better person, I think of it as something neurological. What I mean by that is that it alters your brain functioning although it doesn't improve it. You see the world in a different way but not necessarily a better way. If that's what you want then fine, but why anyone would want it if they can see what it is is beyond me. I don't want it. If you do want it you would do better than going to someone like John Yarr or those who have taken his place because they don't know what they are doing. You're better off without them.

Enlightenment explained by brain functioning

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

When I wrote in a previous post that enlightenment 'can be better explained by brain functioning than by Hindu philosophy' I wasn't thinking that it would be possible to locate the specific areas of the brain responsible. Now it seems we might be able to do that.

There are different ways of imaging the brain. One way is to track blood flow. The more active the neurons in a particular area, the greater the blood flow. When someone meditates some areas of the brain become more active. For example, the prefrontal cortex - seat of attention - becomes more active in meditation.

There are a couple of areas of the brain can become less active in meditation. Both of them are towards the top and back of the brain, one in the left hemisphere and one in the right. These are the Orientation Association Areas. They process information about space and time, and the orientation of the body in space. They determine where the body ends and the rest of the world begins. Specifically, the left orientation area creates the sensation of a physically delimited body; the right orientation area creates the sense of the physical space in which the body exists.

Shutting down the right OAA produces a sense of absolute spacelessness and infinite time. Shutting down the left OAA produces a sense of limitless or extinguished self. Going beyond form is explained very nicely by the shutting down of the right OAA. Enlightenment is explained very nicely by the shutting down of the left OAA.

There will be some people who will say that what goes on in the brain is the result of changes on other levels of reality. Our mind exists on a higher level of reality. They will say that enlightenment cannot be explained by changes in brain functioning, but I would not agree with them.

another view

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

When I was in Lifewave there was one way of looking at the Inner Light and Sound. It was regarded as an energy that was divine in origin. This is consistent with the Divine Light Mission, which John Yarr used to be part of. It is also consistent with the Radha Soami and Sant Mat traditions in India, of which Radha Soami Satsang Beas was just one example.

There is another way of looking at the Inner Light and Sound though. This view is found in other traditions. They don't see it as an energy - instead they see it as an aspect of the mind. I have scanned two pages of a book called 'Journey of Insight Meditation' by Eric Lerner. This book helped me to see that there are other ways of thinking about the Inner Light and Sound, which is why I have included it here.

I like the bit where he writes "When the mind is still, its nature is light". I know that many will resist this view, as I did to begin with. Lerner's explanation is more poetic than mungojelly's.

When I was in Lifewave I was told to take what they said to me at face value, not to try to work it out for myself. I was told this is beyond your mind. That seems to be common in cults, I was told that elsewhere, with people getting angry if I dared to suggest there might be something incomplete about their wonderful system.

Well, sod them. When I read the above two pages I knew that there are others who take a completely different view about what the Inner Light and Sound is. And it's a more sophisticated view, which allows for a more complete understanding of what it is and how to use it. I don't anymore have to put up with anyone telling me I'm not able to think for myself. It's not me who is stupid.

old ad from 1985

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

Above is a newspaper advertisement from 1985. Below is from a Facebook post a year ago. I wonder who the 'Enlightened Teacher' was, in 1985 and in 2018?

UPDATE: I found out who the 'fully Enlightened teacher' was. It was Nick Howell. Nick and Mary Howell have been in contact with John Yarr all this time. They like to give mass initiations. Paul Bennett helped to organise the event. He had initiation there too from Nick Howell and then became enlightened. Or something like that, so he wrote.

If I had known about it I would have gone. It would have been interesting. I was living in the Wirral at the time.

reply to Malcolm's comment

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

Malcolm made some good points in his comment on one of my posts. I replied to his comment but I didn't make a full reply because I was pushed for time and the comments section isn't the best place for a full reply anyway. So in this post I am making a fuller reply to some of the points he made.

Firstly I would like to say that I do believe that his enlightenment was the real thing, just the same as other people who in Lifewave were called Adepts. I also believe that the Lifewave enlightenment is the same as what mystics in different parts of the world have sought and sometimes found. So I'm not saying that his enlightenment is less than other people's enlightenment.

The point I was trying to make is that enlightenment is different from what we were led to believe. His account is valuable because no one else connected with Lifewave has given an account of what enlightenment actually is. That is why I was surprised by his account. Enlightenment seems to be to do with this material world. It seems to be about the perception of the material world, how someone relates to this world.

I expected enlightenment to be about some higher level of reality. I believed at the time that there are many levels of reality (Planes of Existence). There is the material world, which is the lowest level of reality. Then there is the highest level at the other end, you could call that God or Brahman. Somewhere in between is the level of the mind. These kinds of ideas are common in spiritual circles, in the Theosophical Society for example, and in Lifewave too.

He said that he didn't interpret what happened to him as merging with Brahman. However, I think that many people who have had enlightenment do interpret it as merging with Brahman, or union with God. Suzanne Segal seems to have had the same thing happen to her and gave a similar account in her book. She uses the word 'vastness' instead of Brahman or God.

On the 1meditation site they say this: "a desire to get beyond all separation and to merge with the cause of all things". What is the cause of all things? Some would call it Brahman, others would call it God. The Neoplatonists called it 'The One'.

It's a similar idea though. The idea that there is a universal or primordial consciousness and that you are part of it. You are not separate from it. I don't believe in this universal consciousness anymore, but I can see that people would interpret their enlightenment in that way.

Now I would interpret it as a shift in brain functioning. The brain can no longer distinguish between subject and object. Everything seems subject without object, everything seems to be part of you. Nothing seems to be separate from you. I think that ideas about Brahman, very common in Hinduism and New Age movements, derive from a misunderstanding and misinterpretation of this state of consciousness.

In one of my posts I copied-and-pasted something from a forum to do with the inner light. I thought that the writer (mungojelly) had a good understanding of what the inner light actually is. Malcolm replied that it didn't make sense to him.

What mungojelly was saying is that our brains create a model of our bodies and our environment. This model is updated by our sense perceptions. When we meditate we are focusing our attention on something - a mantra or the breath - and ignoring physical sensations apart from that. The model isn't getting updated in the same way and so the model starts doing unusual things.

The example that mungojelly gives is when the breath seems to turn into light. That seems to happen to people when they meditate on the breath, which is common in Buddhist circles. Eric Lerner writes about this in his book. I don't know how it happens with people who meditate using a mantra. I doubt if the mantra turns into light, or sound.

I understand that seeing coloured discs is common. Blue, golden or white usually. Then it seems you end up with an all-pervading white light. I used to think that this light was something spiritual in nature and divine in origin. Now I think that it is just something produced by the brain. That doesn't mean that it is valueless, it can help in entering different altered states of consciousness.

It's an interesting question as to why to begin with the light disappears when you focus your attention on it. That could be because if we turn our attention towards it we are treating it as a sense perception when it isn't that. We are updating the model and because the inner light doesn't derive from our senses then when the model gets corrected it is removed.

Malcolm said that he didn't think that Krishnamurti was as important in Lifewave as I had thought. He could be right about that. The reason why I thought Krishnamurti was important was for two reasons. First, an Adept had said in a talk that Ishvara (John Yarr) had sent someone to talk to Krishnamurti. This person told Krishnamurti that the Buddha of our age had now arrived and was teaching and enlightening people. He meant John Yarr himself.

The story went that Krishnamurti got angry with this person and told him to go. The Adept then said that it looks as if Krishnamurti is a very angry and dismissive man. It's not surprising that Krishnamurti got angry though, he was noted for hating anyone who set himself up as a guru. He was dead against gurus. He must have thought to himself 'Have they understood nothing of what I have said?' He said that he wasn't a teacher and had no teaching and no method (which seems to be not quite true).

The other thing is that when I was in Lifewave in Liverpool in the 1980s we had a little library of spiritual texts. I had a couple of books I didn't want so I donated them to this library. Some time after, one of the Second Initiates wanted to talk to me. He solemnly stated that one of the books was unsuitable so he was returning it to me. I said to him that they probably didn't want the book by Krishnamurti either. I said this because I knew that Krishnamurti hated gurus. To my surprise he said no, the Krishnamurti book is acceptable.

So I was intrigued. Why did Ishvara seem to like Krishnamurti so much despite Krisnamurti hating gurus? It could have been that John Yarr had sent people to talk to many spiritual teachers throughout the world, but it didn't seem that way. Krishnamurti seemed to be important to John Yarr.

Although Krishnamurti said he wasn't a teacher and had no teaching or methods, that's not quite true. Often teachers in the nondualist tradition say the same thing. It's part of their philosophy. If you read what Sam Harris has said about nondualism or Ken Wilber they do say that.

They have something called 'direct pointing' or 'pointing-out instructions'. This is where someone helps you to be aware of your inner consciousness. Then you can focus your attention on that as your form of meditation. I'm sure nondualists will say that I'm misrepresenting what they believe but the less extreme nondualists will accept they do have these practices.

According to Ken Wilber you establish the 'Witness'. The Witness will eventually disappear, and then everything you turn your attention towards will seem to be part of you. I don't know if John Yarr ever received or gave 'direct pointing' or anything like it, or if he just understood the principle and that was a big help to him in getting to enlightenment.

It would seem though that if you want this enlightenment then nondualists techniques would be a big help. It's found in the teachings of Ramana Maharshi, Advaita Vedanta and Tibetan Buddhists. Meditating on the inner light and sound, and entering the various altered states of consciousness is the main thing though. The altered state of consciousness called in Lifewave 'Second Initiation' or 'going beyond form' is what the Theravada Buddhists call the 5th jhana or the Sphere of Infinite Space. That's quite a high one but there are even higher ones.

Lifewave leaflet

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

Here are three pages of an early Lifewave leaflet.

another document

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

This is another document that came out soon after the end of Lifewave.

UPDATE 2025: apparently this article is called THE CREATION AND DESTRUCTION OF LIFEWAVE. An article by AK, an Adept of Lifewave, Sept 1986, and circulated to any interested members at the final meetings of the organisation.

Now that the organisation of Lifewave is to be dissolved, the time has come to offer an explanation for how and why it was created and then destroyed in order to ease the confusion and fear still present in many people's minds. A time of destruction can and must be a time of creation and rebirth but in order to create anything new for the future we must all understand, learn from, and let go of the past.

Anyone who came to listen carefully to and absorb the teachings of the organisation would have to acknowledge the wisdom, power and simplicity, which lay at their core. Through them many people came to know fundamental human truths: the need for self-awareness, service, devotion: the recognition of finer energies than the mind, and the freedom that can be found by contacting the inner light and sound in meditation. Initiation into knowledge of that inner light and inner sound, the realisation of a state of being which transcends all thought, time and space completely and finally, knowing the essence of one's self to be infinite and yet one: that these realisations can be had is verified by the testimony of many people. Over forty men and women claiming to have attained a state of completion or Enlightenment within any organisation is an unusual and possibly unique event by present religious or spiritual standards.

Yet Lifewave did more than help its members meditate and find spiritual knowledge for themselves. It also gave them a purpose in life, a motivation to improve one's life and develop one's mind and body. A healthy lifestyle, avoiding drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, extramarital sex and encouraging employment and voluntary work as well as family life could all be said to have been positive aspects of its teachings. Philosophical training, public speaking, and organisational administration also gave confidence and broadened many people's horizons, as did the companionship of like-minded seekers for the Truth.

John Yarr thus helped through the organisation, which he created and headed, to bring help, understanding, love, and spiritual knowledge to his followers. They in turn came to be completely devoted to him, and out of love and gratitude directed every aspect of their lives around Lifewave activities, talks, meetings and their meditation.

The organisation grew to hundreds and his position in it became ever more elevated. The emphasis of his teaching s changed however too. What had started as him sharing his own realisations and inspiration with fellow devotees in order to uncover the universal truths which lie in us all, gradually changed to a process of him giving 'grace' from the unique repository of all spiritual wisdom: himself, now the Perfect Master.

The concept of grace, which he had initially ridiculed in his own teachers, became the key to his power. Before long no follower could do anything or realise anything without his 'grace', permission thus being granted. Where his first followers attained their own realisations and Enlightenment on their own, albeit with his help and encouragement, later on people were given their realisations and came to be totally tied to his directives and opinions.

A definite hierarchy of teacher pupil relationships was thus built, following his example. The image of him as the ideal perfect man, source of all spiritual bounty, gave him and the 'adepts' who were closest to him the greatest protection from criticism or disagreement, and consequently authoritarianism and intimidation pervaded the organisation. Any criticism of him, his teachers, the lifestyle required or the methods of intimidation were all considered criticisms of the truths of meditation and therefore spiritual heresy.

While all this allowed John Yarr's teachings to be transmitted as faithfully (and uncritically) to his followers as possible, it also allowed him to do whatever he liked with totalitarian power.

From the very beginning of his time as spiritual teacher he began to abuse the trust placed in him, conducting private relations with a number of his women followers, leading each of them to feel they were special and destined to be his wife. Meanwhile in order to maintain his image he covered his tracks by rejecting his partners in public and spreading lies and criticisms about them to others. A network of distrust, comprising a deeply divided group of women and a phalanx of men whose devotion to him was matched only by their blindness to his personal life and his high-handed manipulations, was thus built at the core of the organisation. This distrust together with the stress of responsibilities within the organisation and the volatile nature of the atmosphere that surrounded John Yarr, all provided the smokescreen necessary for him to indulge in a lifestyle totally at variance with his teachings.

Most of the women concerned did confront him with the effects of his behaviour at different times. But each woman had basically only her own experience to go by and had to overcome her own loyalties to theorganisation and his image as its figurehead in order to challenge him properly. Dissent or even gossip was hotly pursued and individuals would have to choose between leaving the organisation or severe isolation and intimidation if they had any reputation as a troublemaker. When John Yarr assassinated people's characters who had been involved with him sexually, and told his followers not to believe in gossip or particular people's opinions it was impossible for any single person to gain the trust of anyone else who might have been in the same situation. When John Yarr continued to promise marriage to his partners even when they were already married (by casting doubts about their husbands health etc) leading each to feel they were special, and given the blind devotion and love on their part, it becomes more understandable how he could have perpetuated his deceptions for as long as he did.

Meanwhile directly or indirectly as a result of his sexual relations, four of his closest teachers who had attained their 'Enlightenment' left the organisation. Three of these left because they knew enough about him to want to dissociate themselves but not enough to tell their friends in the organisation why. Six 'adepts' had nervous breakdowns, some from the stress of teaching, most from the conflict between loving and hating him, between serving a spiritual master and someone who was sexually deviant, and between serving him and serving the initiates. With no way for the truth to come out and no one likely to believe it if it did, given the rigidity of his followers devotion to John Yarr, the only option was to suppress feelings of hurt, guilt, fear and anger. Loyalty to John Yarr was more important than loyalty to husbands or wives and marriages were thus destroyed by his deception. Given this stress, victims of this conflict would immerse themselves in teaching, meditation or the remains of their private happiness, even sacrificing their health, friends, and future for his sake. Similar traumas affected a number of initiates too to whom he made sexual advances.

It is now known that at least nine women adepts and possibly two dozen initiates had direct experience of the way Johm Yarr took liberties with women. This typically did not involve intercourse but almost always involved emotional manipulation as already described.

Faced with all the evidence gathered finally in August 1986, John Yarr was confronted by those who had known him the longest or had most experience of his private life. For the first time it became clear that his personal life and the liberties he was taking with it were influencing not just a few isolated people's lives but a very large number of people within or outside the organisation. This now involved every one who followed him.

At this time John Yarr admitted that his behaviour as a man and organisational head had been reprehensible, falling far short not only of the standards of his own followers but also of the dictates of common humanity. The main charges were as follows:

Deception, a) by perpetrating a lie about himself, b) by encouraging those he had deceived to deceive others and c) by persisting in a cover-up in spite of all confrontations.
Sexual and emotional abuse of women who held him as spiritual guru.
Abuse of his power, to destroy the lives of those who shared his secrets, causing them to be physically and mentally ill, attempt suicide, dread mental hospitalisation and, with no other help available, go through periods of psychological breakdown which have lasted up to 10 years.
Hypocrisy, resulting from the contradiction between the public
teaching and private behaviour.

His reply to these accusations was that he was glad the truth had come out: the burden of guilt and fear had been a heavy one. Yet when asked why he had not brought it out before he said he feared that no one would be able to grasp the contradictions inherent in his personality, and that, if he had not been confronted by anyone, he would have allowed people to continue suffering because of his fear.

He regretted his actions and expressed some sadness for the pain he had knowingly caused. Yet he could give no guarantees, any more than he could on previous minor confrontations, that his behaviour would change.

Loneliness, weariness of responsibility, frustration, bullheadedness, perfectionism, guilt, and personal hurt were, he claimed, the reasons for his actions. He claimed that he couldn't separate his spiritual power from his personal weakness, cruelties and immoralities. He expected other people to be able to cope with the hurt and devastation he was causing in their lives by meditating. He felt people would accept his actions because of his spiritual power and because of the wisdom and spiritual elevation he had helped others to find.

The fear and frustration throughout the organisation was, he admitted, generated by him, but the end justified the means. People only had two hours on average a day available to devote to spiritual matters and hence some of time limit structure and pressure were necessary.

But now he wanted to relinquish all policymaking power franchising out the teaching and awaited being told what to do by his followers.

Having heard his explanations, excuses and admissions, it became clear to those who confronted him that having spent 12 years deceiving his followers about his own nature, John Yarr was not going to willingly admit the extent of his misbehaviour to anyone else.

Since those who knew him the most felt a greater responsibility to clarify the truth about John Yarr to his followers, they were keen for everyone who had been part of Lifewave to know the full truth as kindly but as quickly as possible. No one could be expected to make the decision about whether or not they wanted to continue following him, until they had the benefit of the whole story.

On the other hand there were some who, knowing the full facts, chose to discredit the people who had revealed them, in order to preserve John Yarr's image and minimise his wrongdoings. Thus confused by the paradox of a spiritual teacher who was now known to be a sexual deviant and by this time there were allegations regarding sex with children, people have been caught by their longing for spiritual guidance and their belief that only John Yarr's grace can give them spiritual progress.

Two facts have now emerged to help solve this confusion.

The first is the fact of John Yarr's deception and his predilection for spinning any old lie in order to maintain a position of superiority or create a dependency which he can then use for his own selfish ends. The idea of his personal grace has been the cornerstone of his powerstructure and the single reason why he was able to hurt so many people. This greed in him has of course had to be matched by greed on the part of his followers whose insecurities have taught them to need something which can only be 'got' from a superman.

The second is the fact about spirituality itself. Being universal, the truth cannot belong to anybody, but rather belongs to everybody. Like the vibrations of light and sound that power all life, knowledge is unveiled, not given. Spiritual energy has its own intelligence, which can be channelled but never controlled by man's mind. If we chose to see life as a gift, anuything becomes a grace, from having a body to gathering experiences, making realisations or contacting finer energies. Grace is therefore universal. If John Yarr's grace is truly universal it no longer belongs to him.

When the citadel of John Yarr's reputation began to crumble, it was inevitable that people would return to the truth of their own realisations and throw out the brainwashing and dogma associated with Lifewave. When mental limitations and fears were removed, one by one people came forward to discuss and therefore consolidate realisations they had already made but which did not fit into the structure of thought John Yarr had allowed.

Before long, to many people's delight, it became clear that the structure of Lifewave had been perhaps useful but by no means necessary for individuals to contact the inner light and sound ( ie without the special 'Initiation') to transcend the limitations of thought and to attain liberation. A number of people had already made these realisations months or years earlier but had had their understanding of them suppressed or distorted, so they began now to have the confidence not to wait for anyone's permission but to progress themselves.

So the full truth has finally emerged. Spirituality remains as elusive and intriguing as ever. Freed now from the greed of one man it can now fill and inspire the guru inside each individual. Just as all forms in nature have to expire, so does John Yarr now have to face the full consequences of his actions and relinquish his power as the structure and methods of his path are now obsolete. Each individual has now the task to use their wisdom to keep practising the Truth, as they know it.

Earnest aspiration, devotion, diligent practice of listening study service and meditation become fundamental requirements. The truth must be found and then used, used and then found again or else it becomes stale. Guidance from a teacher is very important for some people, but its not crucial, and contact with other human beings who reflect and channel finer energy is one way for us to know that finer energy in ourselves. This is healing in its finest senses, sharing oneself so there is no teacher and no pupil, a unity based on trust and openness not greed and fear.

The end of John Yarr's path is really only the beginning of something else.