what enlightenment isn't

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

On this blog I have given my opinion of what I think enlightenment is. Many will disagree with me. So I am devoting this post to what people think enlightenment is. I think there are three aspects to enlightenment.

1. overcoming the cycle of birth and rebirth
2. seeing reality instead of illusion
3. personal development

overcoming the cycle of birth and rebirth
Hindus and Buddhists believe in reincarnation. The idea though is to escape from having to return to this world. If you become enlightened then you no longer need to return to this world. If you meditate but don't become enlightened then you will have a happier life next time round.

seeing reality instead of illusion
In the film The Matrix there is the idea that what we think is reality isn't reality. You can do something to know true reality. In the film you can take the red pill to see reality. In real life you can meditate. Gradually you will see through illusion. Nondualists will say that direct pointing will allow you to see reality, it isn't a gradual process.

personal development
You can become less greedy and angry, more emotionally stable, and more compassionate. You can overcome your neuroses and conditioning. By the time that someone becomes enlightened they will have overcome all of these problems to become a perfected human being - so some people think.

They will not exploit their followers financially or sexually. They don't have powerful drives, and even when they do have drives they wouldn't want to see their followers suffer. They are aware of the suffering of others and wouldn't want to do anything which would create it. A paedophile isn't just someone who has a sexual attraction towards children, they are also someone who can look into the eyes of a child, see the confusion and distress, yet go ahead and do it anyway.

Enlightenment in my opinion has nothing to do with personal development. It is merely to do with overcoming the subject/object dichotomy. An enlightened person can be greedy, angry, emotionally unstable and neurotic. He or she can lack compassion. It might even be that enlightenment makes all of these things worse.

I used to think that overcoming desire was the way to escape reincarnation. Greed and anger are what pulls us back to this world. This is something that many Buddhists believe. When greed and anger are gone, then we are free. I don't believe this anymore. I don't believe in life after death and I don't believe that meditation can reduce anger and greed let alone eliminate them.

Neither do I believe that high altered states of consciousness are levels of reality that we can go to when we die and stay there. I don't believe that our Atman can merge with Brahman. I think Atman and Brahman are concepts that derive from one particular state of consciousness.

If you have a shift in your consciousness after doing intense meditation for a long time you might look at something and see it as part of you. Everything you look at seems to be part of you. This is your perception but it is a false perception. It isn't true that everything is part of you. It is an illusion. All that's happened is that part of your brain is no longer working normally. It can no longer distinguish between subject and object.

You can interpret your new perception in terms of Hindu philosophy or in mystical terms. Union with Brahman or God. When you see what it is though it's easier to see it in terms of altered brain functioning. Not only can an enlightened person not be able to see the thought of others (you would think they could if they are really one with everything and everyone), they can't even see the suffering of people around them. They are indifferent to it.

You might think that if everything is part of you then there is nothing outside you that you would need. You would think that but experience shows us that this is not the case. You would think that someone would be less controlled by instinctive drives, but it could be that people become more impulsive not less.

I used to think that meditation and enlightenment were spiritual, in the sense that I believed that you could experience higher levels of reality, expand your higher self, and purify your lower self. I know that sounds vague, but I won't elaborate on that here now. Then when I realised that there aren't any higher levels of reality, I thought that it was something psychological, in the sense that it could make you a more contented person. Now I can see that this doesn't happen, it doesn't make you a better person, I think of it as something neurological. What I mean by that is that it alters your brain functioning although it doesn't improve it. You see the world in a different way but not necessarily a better way. If that's what you want then fine, but why anyone would want it if they can see what it is is beyond me. I don't want it. If you do want it you would do better than going to someone like John Yarr or those who have taken his place because they don't know what they are doing. You're better off without them.

Enlightenment explained by brain functioning

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

When I wrote in a previous post that enlightenment 'can be better explained by brain functioning than by Hindu philosophy' I wasn't thinking that it would be possible to locate the specific areas of the brain responsible. Now it seems we might be able to do that.

There are different ways of imaging the brain. One way is to track blood flow. The more active the neurons in a particular area, the greater the blood flow. When someone meditates some areas of the brain become more active. For example, the prefrontal cortex - seat of attention - becomes more active in meditation.

There are a couple of areas of the brain can become less active in meditation. Both of them are towards the top and back of the brain, one in the left hemisphere and one in the right. These are the Orientation Association Areas. They process information about space and time, and the orientation of the body in space. They determine where the body ends and the rest of the world begins. Specifically, the left orientation area creates the sensation of a physically delimited body; the right orientation area creates the sense of the physical space in which the body exists.

Shutting down the right OAA produces a sense of absolute spacelessness and infinite time. Shutting down the left OAA produces a sense of limitless or extinguished self. Going beyond form is explained very nicely by the shutting down of the right OAA. Enlightenment is explained very nicely by the shutting down of the left OAA.

There will be some people who will say that what goes on in the brain is the result of changes on other levels of reality. Our mind exists on a higher level of reality. They will say that enlightenment cannot be explained by changes in brain functioning, but I would not agree with them.

another view

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

When I was in Lifewave there was one way of looking at the Inner Light and Sound. It was regarded as an energy that was divine in origin. This is consistent with the Divine Light Mission, which John Yarr used to be part of. It is also consistent with the Radha Soami and Sant Mat traditions in India, of which Radha Soami Satsang Beas was just one example.

There is another way of looking at the Inner Light and Sound though. This view is found in other traditions. They don't see it as an energy - instead they see it as an aspect of the mind. I have scanned two pages of a book called 'Journey of Insight Meditation' by Eric Lerner. This book helped me to see that there are other ways of thinking about the Inner Light and Sound, which is why I have included it here.

I like the bit where he writes "When the mind is still, its nature is light". I know that many will resist this view, as I did to begin with. Lerner's explanation is more poetic than mungojelly's.

When I was in Lifewave I was told to take what they said to me at face value, not to try to work it out for myself. I was told this is beyond your mind. That seems to be common in cults, I was told that elsewhere, with people getting angry if I dared to suggest there might be something incomplete about their wonderful system.

Well, sod them. When I read the above two pages I knew that there are others who take a completely different view about what the Inner Light and Sound is. And it's a more sophisticated view, which allows for a more complete understanding of what it is and how to use it. I don't anymore have to put up with anyone telling me I'm not able to think for myself. It's not me who is stupid.

old ad from 1985

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

Above is a newspaper advertisement from 1985. Below is from a Facebook post a year ago. I wonder who the 'Enlightened Teacher' was, in 1985 and in 2018?

reply to Malcolm's comment

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

Malcolm made some good points in his comment on one of my posts. I replied to his comment but I didn't make a full reply because I was pushed for time and the comments section isn't the best place for a full reply anyway. So in this post I am making a fuller reply to some of the points he made.

Firstly I would like to say that I do believe that his enlightenment was the real thing, just the same as other people who in Lifewave were called Adepts. I also believe that the Lifewave enlightenment is the same as what mystics in different parts of the world have sought and sometimes found. So I'm not saying that his enlightenment is less than other people's enlightenment.

The point I was trying to make is that enlightenment is different from what we were led to believe. His account is valuable because no one else connected with Lifewave has given an account of what enlightenment actually is. That is why I was surprised by his account. Enlightenment seems to be to do with this material world. It seems to be about the perception of the material world, how someone relates to this world.

I expected enlightenment to be about some higher level of reality. I believed at the time that there are many levels of reality (Planes of Existence). There is the material world, which is the lowest level of reality. Then there is the highest level at the other end, you could call that God or Brahman. Somewhere in between is the level of the mind. These kinds of ideas are common in spiritual circles, in the Theosophical Society for example, and in Lifewave too.

He said that he didn't interpret what happened to him as merging with Brahman. However, I think that many people who have had enlightenment do interpret it as merging with Brahman, or union with God. Suzanne Segal seems to have had the same thing happen to her and gave a similar account in her book. She uses the word 'vastness' instead of Brahman or God.

On the 1meditation site they say this: "a desire to get beyond all separation and to merge with the cause of all things". What is the cause of all things? Some would call it Brahman, others would call it God. The Neoplatonists called it 'The One'.

It's a similar idea though. The idea that there is a universal or primordial consciousness and that you are part of it. You are not separate from it. I don't believe in this universal consciousness anymore, but I can see that people would interpret their enlightenment in that way.

Now I would interpret it as a shift in brain functioning. The brain can no longer distinguish between subject and object. Everything seems subject without object, everything seems to be part of you. Nothing seems to be separate from you. I think that ideas about Brahman, very common in Hinduism and New Age movements, derive from a misunderstanding and misinterpretation of this state of consciousness.

In one of my posts I copied-and-pasted something from a forum to do with the inner light. I thought that the writer (mungojelly) had a good understanding of what the inner light actually is. Malcolm replied that it didn't make sense to him.

What mungojelly was saying is that our brains create a model of our bodies and our environment. This model is updated by our sense perceptions. When we meditate we are focusing our attention on something - a mantra or the breath - and ignoring physical sensations apart from that. The model isn't getting updated in the same way and so the model starts doing unusual things.

The example that mungojelly gives is when the breath seems to turn into light. That seems to happen to people when they meditate on the breath, which is common in Buddhist circles. Eric Lerner writes about this in his book. I don't know how it happens with people who meditate using a mantra. I doubt if the mantra turns into light, or sound.

I understand that seeing coloured discs is common. Blue, golden or white usually. Then it seems you end up with an all-pervading white light. I used to think that this light was something spiritual in nature and divine in origin. Now I think that it is just something produced by the brain. That doesn't mean that it is valueless, it can help in entering different altered states of consciousness.

It's an interesting question as to why to begin with the light disappears when you focus your attention on it. That could be because if we turn our attention towards it we are treating it as a sense perception when it isn't that. We are updating the model and because the inner light doesn't derive from our senses then when the model gets corrected it is removed.

Malcolm said that he didn't think that Krishnamurti was as important in Lifewave as I had thought. He could be right about that. The reason why I thought Krishnamurti was important was for two reasons. First, an Adept had said in a talk that Ishvara (John Yarr) had sent someone to talk to Krishnamurti. This person told Krishnamurti that the Buddha of our age had now arrived and was teaching and enlightening people. He meant John Yarr himself.

The story went that Krishnamurti got angry with this person and told him to go. The Adept then said that it looks as if Krishnamurti is a very angry and dismissive man. It's not surprising that Krishnamurti got angry though, he was noted for hating anyone who set himself up as a guru. He was dead against gurus. He must have thought to himself 'Have they understood nothing of what I have said?' He said that he wasn't a teacher and had no teaching and no method (which seems to be not quite true).

The other thing is that when I was in Lifewave in Liverpool in the 1980s we had a little library of spiritual texts. I had a couple of books I didn't want so I donated them to this library. Some time after, one of the Second Initiates wanted to talk to me. He solemnly stated that one of the books was unsuitable so he was returning it to me. I said to him that they probably didn't want the book by Krishnamurti either. I said this because I knew that Krishnamurti hated gurus. To my surprise he said no, the Krishnamurti book is acceptable.

So I was intrigued. Why did Ishvara seem to like Krishnamurti so much despite Krisnamurti hating gurus? It could have been that John Yarr had sent people to talk to many spiritual teachers throughout the world, but it didn't seem that way. Krishnamurti seemed to be important to John Yarr.

Although Krishnamurti said he wasn't a teacher and had no teaching or methods, that's not quite true. Often teachers in the nondualist tradition say the same thing. It's part of their philosophy. If you read what Sam Harris has said about nondualism or Ken Wilber they do say that.

They have something called 'direct pointing' or 'pointing-out instructions'. This is where someone helps you to be aware of your inner consciousness. Then you can focus your attention on that as your form of meditation. I'm sure nondualists will say that I'm misrepresenting what they believe but the less extreme nondualists will accept they do have these practices.

According to Ken Wilber you establish the 'Witness'. The Witness will eventually disappear, and then everything you turn your attention towards will seem to be part of you. I don't know if John Yarr ever received or gave 'direct pointing' or anything like it, or if he just understood the principle and that was a big help to him in getting to enlightenment.

It would seem though that if you want this enlightenment then nondualists techniques would be a big help. It's found in the teachings of Ramana Maharshi, Advaita Vedanta and Tibetan Buddhists. Meditating on the inner light and sound, and entering the various altered states of consciousness is the main thing though. The altered state of consciousness called in Lifewave 'Second Initiation' or 'going beyond form' is what the Theravada Buddhists call the 5th jhana or the Sphere of Infinite Space. That's quite a high one but there are even higher ones.

Lifewave leaflet

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

Here are three pages of an early Lifewave leaflet.

another document

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

This is another document that came out soon after the end of Lifewave.

Now that the organisation of Lifewave is to be dissolved, the time has come to offer an explanation for how and why it was created and then destroyed in order to ease the confusion and fear still present in many people's minds. A time of destruction can and must be a time of creation and rebirth but in order to create anything new for the future we must all understand, learn from, and let go of the past.

Anyone who came to listen carefully to and absorb the teachings of the organisation would have to acknowledge the wisdom, power and simplicity, which lay at their core. Through them many people came to know fundamental human truths: the need for self-awareness, service, devotion: the recognition of finer energies than the mind, and the freedom that can be found by contacting the inner light and sound in meditation. Initiation into knowledge of that inner light and inner sound, the realisation of a state of being which transcends all thought, time and space completely and finally, knowing the essence of one's self to be infinite and yet one: that these realisations can be had is verified by the testimony of many people. Over forty men and women claiming to have attained a state of completion or Enlightenment within any organisation is an unusual and possibly unique event by present religious or spiritual standards.

Yet Lifewave did more than help its members meditate and find spiritual knowledge for themselves. It also gave them a purpose in life, a motivation to improve one's life and develop one's mind and body. A healthy lifestyle, avoiding drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, extramarital sex and encouraging employment and voluntary work as well as family life could all be said to have been positive aspects of its teachings. Philosophical training, public speaking, and organisational administration also gave confidence and broadened many people's horizons, as did the companionship of like-minded seekers for the Truth.

John Yarr thus helped through the organisation, which he created and headed, to bring help, understanding, love, and spiritual knowledge to his followers. They in turn came to be completely devoted to him, and out of love and gratitude directed every aspect of their lives around Lifewave activities, talks, meetings and their meditation.

The organisation grew to hundreds and his position in it became ever more elevated. The emphasis of his teaching s changed however too. What had started as him sharing his own realisations and inspiration with fellow devotees in order to uncover the universal truths which lie in us all, gradually changed to a process of him giving 'grace' from the unique repository of all spiritual wisdom: himself, now the Perfect Master.

The concept of grace, which he had initially ridiculed in his own teachers, became the key to his power. Before long no follower could do anything or realise anything without his 'grace', permission thus being granted. Where his first followers attained their own realisations and Enlightenment on their own, albeit with his help and encouragement, later on people were given their realisations and came to be totally tied to his directives and opinions.

A definite hierarchy of teacher pupil relationships was thus built, following his example. The image of him as the ideal perfect man, source of all spiritual bounty, gave him and the 'adepts' who were closest to him the greatest protection from criticism or disagreement, and consequently authoritarianism and intimidation pervaded the organisation. Any criticism of him, his teachers, the lifestyle required or the methods of intimidation were all considered criticisms of the truths of meditation and therefore spiritual heresy.

While all this allowed John Yarr's teachings to be transmitted as faithfully (and uncritically) to his followers as possible, it also allowed him to do whatever he liked with totalitarian power.

From the very beginning of his time as spiritual teacher he began to abuse the trust placed in him, conducting private relations with a number of his women followers, leading each of them to feel they were special and destined to be his wife. Meanwhile in order to maintain his image he covered his tracks by rejecting his partners in public and spreading lies and criticisms about them to others. A network of distrust, comprising a deeply divided group of women and a phalanx of men whose devotion to him was matched only by their blindness to his personal life and his high-handed manipulations, was thus built at the core of the organisation. This distrust together with the stress of responsibilities within the organisation and the volatile nature of the atmosphere that surrounded John Yarr, all provided the smokescreen necessary for him to indulge in a lifestyle totally at variance with his teachings.

Most of the women concerned did confront him with the effects of his behaviour at different times. But each woman had basically only her own experience to go by and had to overcome her own loyalties to theorganisation and his image as its figurehead in order to challenge him properly. Dissent or even gossip was hotly pursued and individuals would have to choose between leaving the organisation or severe isolation and intimidation if they had any reputation as a troublemaker. When John Yarr assassinated people's characters who had been involved with him sexually, and told his followers not to believe in gossip or particular people's opinions it was impossible for any single person to gain the trust of anyone else who might have been in the same situation. When John Yarr continued to promise marriage to his partners even when they were already married (by casting doubts about their husbands health etc) leading each to feel they were special, and given the blind devotion and love on their part, it becomes more understandable how he could have perpetuated his deceptions for as long as he did.

Meanwhile directly or indirectly as a result of his sexual relations, four of his closest teachers who had attained their 'Enlightenment' left the organisation. Three of these left because they knew enough about him to want to dissociate themselves but not enough to tell their friends in the organisation why. Six 'adepts' had nervous breakdowns, some from the stress of teaching, most from the conflict between loving and hating him, between serving a spiritual master and someone who was sexually deviant, and between serving him and serving the initiates. With no way for the truth to come out and no one likely to believe it if it did, given the rigidity of his followers devotion to John Yarr, the only option was to suppress feelings of hurt, guilt, fear and anger. Loyalty to John Yarr was more important than loyalty to husbands or wives and marriages were thus destroyed by his deception. Given this stress, victims of this conflict would immerse themselves in teaching, meditation or the remains of their private happiness, even sacrificing their health, friends, and future for his sake. Similar traumas affected a number of initiates too to whom he made sexual advances.

It is now known that at least nine women adepts and possibly two dozen initiates had direct experience of the way Johm Yarr took liberties with women. This typically did not involve intercourse but almost always involved emotional manipulation as already described.

Faced with all the evidence gathered finally in August 1986, John Yarr was confronted by those who had known him the longest or had most experience of his private life. For the first time it became clear that his personal life and the liberties he was taking with it were influencing not just a few isolated people's lives but a very large number of people within or outside the organisation. This now involved every one who followed him.

At this time John Yarr admitted that his behaviour as a man and organisational head had been reprehensible, falling far short not only of the standards of his own followers but also of the dictates of common humanity. The main charges were as follows:

Deception, a) by perpetrating a lie about himself, b) by encouraging those he had deceived to deceive others and c) by persisting in a cover-up in spite of all confrontations.
Sexual and emotional abuse of women who held him as spiritual guru.
Abuse of his power, to destroy the lives of those who shared his secrets, causing them to be physically and mentally ill, attempt suicide, dread mental hospitalisation and, with no other help available, go through periods of psychological breakdown which have lasted up to 10 years.
Hypocrisy, resulting from the contradiction between the public
teaching and private behaviour.

His reply to these accusations was that he was glad the truth had come out: the burden of guilt and fear had been a heavy one. Yet when asked why he had not brought it out before he said he feared that no one would be able to grasp the contradictions inherent in his personality, and that, if he had not been confronted by anyone, he would have allowed people to continue suffering because of his fear.

He regretted his actions and expressed some sadness for the pain he had knowingly caused. Yet he could give no guarantees, any more than he could on previous minor confrontations, that his behaviour would change.

Loneliness, weariness of responsibility, frustration, bullheadedness, perfectionism, guilt, and personal hurt were, he claimed, the reasons for his actions. He claimed that he couldn't separate his spiritual power from his personal weakness, cruelties and immoralities. He expected other people to be able to cope with the hurt and devastation he was causing in their lives by meditating. He felt people would accept his actions because of his spiritual power and because of the wisdom and spiritual elevation he had helped others to find.

The fear and frustration throughout the organisation was, he admitted, generated by him, but the end justified the means. People only had two hours on average a day available to devote to spiritual matters and hence some of time limit structure and pressure were necessary.

But now he wanted to relinquish all policymaking power franchising out the teaching and awaited being told what to do by his followers.


Having heard his explanations, excuses and admissions, it became clear to those who confronted him that having spent 12 years deceiving his followers about his own nature, John Yarr was not going to willingly admit the extent of his misbehaviour to anyone else.

Since those who knew him the most felt a greater responsibility to clarify the truth about John Yarr to his followers, they were keen for everyone who had been part of Lifewave to know the full truth as kindly but as quickly as possible. No one could be expected to make the decision about whether or not they wanted to continue following him, until they had the benefit of the whole story.

On the other hand there were some who, knowing the full facts, chose to discredit the people who had revealed them, in order to preserve John Yarr's image and minimise his wrongdoings. Thus confused by the paradox of a spiritual teacher who was now known to be a sexual deviant and by this time there were allegations regarding sex with children, people have been caught by their longing for spiritual guidance and their belief that only John Yarr's grace can give them spiritual progress.

Two facts have now emerged to help solve this confusion.

The first is the fact of John Yarr's deception and his predilection for spinning any old lie in order to maintain a position of superiority or create a dependency which he can then use for his own selfish ends. The idea of his personal grace has been the cornerstone of his powerstructure and the single reason why he was able to hurt so many people. This greed in him has of course had to be matched by greed on the part of his followers whose insecurities have taught them to need something which can only be 'got' from a superman.

The second is the fact about spirituality itself. Being universal, the truth cannot belong to anybody, but rather belongs to everybody. Like the vibrations of light and sound that power all life, knowledge is unveiled, not given. Spiritual energy has its own intelligence, which can be channelled but never controlled by man's mind. If we chose to see life as a gift, anuything becomes a grace, from having a body to gathering experiences, making realisations or contacting finer energies. Grace is therefore universal. If John Yarr's grace is truly universal it no longer belongs to him.

When the citadel of John Yarr's reputation began to crumble, it was inevitable that people would return to the truth of their own realisations and throw out the brainwashing and dogma associated with Lifewave. When mental limitations and fears were removed, one by one people came forward to discuss and therefore consolidate realisations they had already made but which did not fit into the structure of thought John Yarr had allowed.

Before long, to many people's delight, it became clear that the structure of Lifewave had been perhaps useful but by no means necessary for individuals to contact the inner light and sound ( ie without the special 'Initiation') to transcend the limitations of thought and to attain liberation. A number of people had already made these realisations months or years earlier but had had their understanding of them suppressed or distorted, so they began now to have the confidence not to wait for anyone's permission but to progress themselves.

So the full truth has finally emerged. Spirituality remains as elusive and intriguing as ever. Freed now from the greed of one man it can now fill and inspire the guru inside each individual. Just as all forms in nature have to expire, so does John Yarr now have to face the full consequences of his actions and relinquish his power as the structure and methods of his path are now obsolete. Each individual has now the task to use their wisdom to keep practising the Truth, as they know it.

Earnest aspiration, devotion, diligent practice of listening study service and meditation become fundamental requirements. The truth must be found and then used, used and then found again or else it becomes stale. Guidance from a teacher is very important for some people, but its not crucial, and contact with other human beings who reflect and channel finer energy is one way for us to know that finer energy in ourselves. This is healing in its finest senses, sharing oneself so there is no teacher and no pupil, a unity based on trust and openness not greed and fear.

The end of John Yarr's path is really only the beginning of something else.

Rawlinson document

To go to the beginning of this blog and an introduction to the Lifewave cult click here.

This is a document that came out soon after the breakup of Lifewave.

'The rise and fall of Lifewave' by Andrew Rawlinson:

Lifewave was the name of an organization designed to bring spirituality into the world. It was the inspiration of one man, John Yarr. It began in 1974 with his claim to enlightenment; it ended with his exposure and disgrace (brought about by his own followers) in 1986. The story of its rise and fall is yet another reminder that human nature is very complex and that without a proper understanding of it, the spiritual quest, which is a noble aspiration, can end in a mess. What follows is based on interviews with members and ex-members of Lifewave, both before and after the debacle of September 1986. Quotations are from them or from Lifewave literature, which consists entirely of short pamphiets, very few of them dated and none of them on public record. No books were ever produced. I would like to acknowledge the help of Kriss Glenville, who was going to Lifewave meetings when the revelations about Yarr took place, and who has expended considerable time and energy on trying to understand the whole phenomenon. He provided me with a lot of contacts and a number of stimulating ideas.

The history of Lifewave can be briefly told. In 1974, John Yarr, aged 27, was initiated into Guru Maharaj ji's Divine Light. After long hours of meditation on the light and sound as taught by Divine Light, he claimed to have attained enlightenment.This claim was not accepted by Divine Light and Yarr left to set up as a teacher on his own. He took with him four women who were all Divine Light initiates. By 1976, two of these women had themselves become enlightened. According to one of them they both attained this state by their own efforts in meditation. She also maintains that in the early days Yarr said that all that was required for enlightenment was meditation on light and sound. But someone who joined the group in this year says that he was never told either of these things. On the contrary, he was told that enlightenment was possible only by the grace of a perfect master who put his initiates in touch with the light and sound.

The perfect master was John Yarr, now Called Ishvara (meaning 'Lord'). This remained the central teaching thereafter. Gradually, the numbers grew. In 1977, the group (numbering less than 20) gave itself the name Spiritual Organization for the Teachings of the Master (SOTM). This was changed to Lifewave in 1980. Starting in the area around portsmouth, groups spread to various parts of England and to a number of European countries, as well as India, Africa, Australia and North and South America. By 1986, there were perhaps 500 committed practitioners. Yarr had been a corporal in the Army working in the stores until 1974, when he left and worked for Marconi for a while. He has been supported by Lifewave funds ever since.Lifewave was organized as a spiritual hieraichy. At the bottom were aspirants - those who were preparing to ask for initiation. They were given various mantras (eg DAK-ME-VA and TE-SO-AN) and had to fulfil certain conditions: vegetarian diet; no alcohol, drugs or tobacco; sex to be contained within a monogamous relationship. Next came the initiates. Each one was given the same mantra (EE-O-DE-KAR). The eyeballs were pressed very hard so that flashes of light could be seen; this was a physical preparation for the seeing of inner light. In addition, the thumbs were put in the ears in order to listen to inner sound. All this is very similar to Divine Light. Some people undoubtedly had very powerful experiences at the time of initiation. As one of them said to me: 'What I experienced was not of my own making.' This inner manifestation of light and sound was itself called the Lifewave and initiation was said to be the revelation of the source of life. The Lifewave was described as 'a dynamic powerhouse, a Being that drives, nourishes and vitalises the entire universe ... the source of all intelligence and wisdom”.

Initiates were expected to meditate for two hours a day, and six hours a day at weekends. There could be as many as two or three meetings a week as well as a recommended study course (including homework) concerned with such topics as the subtle body, the chakras and the aura. All the material that I have seen appears to be derived from Theosophical writers like Besant, Leadbeater and Bailey.

All this was hard work and a fulltime occupation. Those initiates who were thought to be progressing were then 'sat down' for second initiation - the next level of the lifewave hierarchy. This was not a formal occasion as such; rather, it consisted of about ten days of up to 15 hours meditation a day, during which time the initiate would go beyond form. This meant the realization that one was not the mind nor anything pertaining to the mind; that one cannot die and that one will not be reborn. Second initiates were said to be free of samsara.There remained the final goal - enlightenment or liberation. Going beyond form gives the realization of what you are not; liberation is the realization of what you are in your real nature. It was defined as 'complete knowledge of the unchanging aspect of man', 'unity with the Self, 'the unity of man and God', 'love itself'. In Lifewave News (only three issues in 1984), two of those who had attained this state said: 'I know that I am a Divine Being, that the entire universe comes from me.' And: 'I realize now that I am not a single individual person, but rather the very essence of life which allows everything to exist. Everything around me now is never separate from me; I see all things, both beautiful and ugly, as the same, all contained in me. My Enlightenment is a state of peace and stillness - freedom beyond all imagination.'

Such people were called adepts (the term was 'saints' in the early years) and given the title Adara, which was short for AD(ept of Ishv)ARA. Naturally, they were regarded as special. Lifewave literature says that they cannot incur karma. For them, 'Creation's mysteries stand revealed.' They possess the eight siddhis spoken of by Patanjali. They are the externalization on earth of the Spiritual Hierarchy and can 'communicate at will with DjwhaI Khul, Morya and Koot Hoomi.' (NB Theosophy again) They are 'the start of the new race, the New Humanity.' They carried out all the initiations, including the initiation for enlightenment.

lshvara himself, of course, was the apex of the hierarchy. He was described as the Supreme Being in human form, the Messiah, the Liberator of Mankind, the world Saviour, the Kalki Avatar. The Spiritual Hierarchy serves him. His power is limitless. In the only peice of his own writings that I have seen, Yarr says: 'Because I have never been born and never die, I have no guru or spiritual teacher ... The initiate travels to Enlightenment within my aura... I have the power to enlighten millions and millions of people.' Elsewhere it is said that love flows from him and that he is a 'living example of the noblest qualities.' A Lifewave pamphlet called The Sacred' Mirror says: 'Have steadfast trust in Ishvara as the Supreme Lord.'

These claims about lshvara and the path to enlightenment that he had inaugurated are certainly very high. Why should people believe them? All those whom I have asked this question have given the same answer: their experience in meditation was so strong and blissful that they were convinced by everything they were told. Lifewave said that the teachings would be confirmed by experience - and they were.

However, there were aspects of the Lifewave organization that were not so blissful. First, there was considerable pressure to conform. In the early years, initiates had to bow down before adepts, actually touching their heads to the ground. Later, only a bowed head was required but the principle remains the same. Initiates were also expected to tithe one tenth of their income to the organization and if they didn't they had to justify why not. People at all levels of Lifewave, from adepts down to aspirants, have said that they were told where to live, what job to do, who to be friends with and so on. There were also some instances of initiates being encouraged by adepts to report someone else's deviant behaviour so that the miscreant could be pulled back into line.

There was considerable rule by fear. Nonconformists were not allowed to just leave; they were 'sent away.' This meant that they could not come back to Lifewave later if they wished, and had in effect been cut off from what they had been told was the only source of spirituality in the world. Naturally, some hesitated before continuing with their independent line. One Initiate who was critical of Ishvara and therefore sent away was at one point visited by six female followers, who 'made countless threats on our well-being...became hysterical and both my common-law wife and I were hit several times.' Another initiate who left told me that his wife (who was still a membe) was stopped in the street by an adept and told, 'Ishvara can curse as well as bless, you know.' The Sacred' Mirror’ appears to provide a justification for this behaviour: 'Justice does not allow people to take its vows and then forget. Turning away from the Path brings punishment, as you break its laws.'This darker side of Lifewave was undoubtedly connected with a darker side of John Yarr. He said to one initiate: 'I am God. I am enitled to have what I like. Its my creation, so I can do what I want' An aspirant was told that Ishvara controlled aircrashes and the weather, and that if people did not listen to him, he would cause a lot of destrucuon in the world. She left the path.

It is difficult to judge how widespread all this was and how many people in Lifewave knew about It. Adepts had considerable leeway in how they dealt with the initiates in their charge and there were those who flagrantly abused their position while others did not. Hence some actually perpetrated the darker side of Lifewave, and some merely knew of it but condoned it. Some found out and left (despite threats, curses and attacks). Perhaps most had intimations of what was going on but did nothing because of what they were receiving in meditation. The bliss of the inner journey was so intoxicating that they could not help but feel devotion for lshvara. They were grateful to him and they trusted him. What they had been told about the spiritual path was true and therefore they were prepared to overlook whatever aspect of the darker side of Lifewave they had seen. It was spiritual experience that mattered above all else. One initiate wrote to the Chichester Observer in 1979, replying to criticisms of a public meeting that was held to attract people to Lifewave: 'lshvara has given me something so beautiful and so precious - is it wrong to tell others?... Only the truth is offered... We know exactly what we are talking about and what we are doing.'

Unfortunately, he was wrong. In September 1986, Lifewave groups throughout the country were told that the organization was being dismantled. The reasons emerged rather slowly but they can be summarized as follows. Yarr had had sexual relations with a number of female adepts, including children. This had been going on since the earliest days and in fact all of the original four women had been involved (though none knew that the others were). In order to keep all this a secret, he had consistently lied - not only to the whole organization but to some of the women, to whom he had promised marriage. He certainly caused all of them distress, and two adepts who work in alternative medicine have told me that they have treated women who had become ill as a result of their involvement with Yarr.

The central charge here is betrayal of trust. He used his authority as a spiritual teacher, employing persuasion and fear, so that he benefitted and others suffered. When one of the children Involved with Yarr was asked years later why she had said nothing, she replied, 'I thought it was part of my spiritual training.' That a man calling himself a perfect master should take advantage of such innocence is shameful and grotesque.As might be expected, these revelations convulsed the Lifewave organization (which is to be formally disbanded in the near future). Yarr is now in hiding. He has had bricks thrown through his window and has been threatened and punched by those who have turned against him. He has sold his house (bought for him by Lifewave) but no one is clear about what he is going to do with the money. Already there have been considenble divergences in the interpretation of events by adepts (there were 46 officially recognized in September) and first and second initiates. These divergences centre around the nature of the state called enlightenment, the significance of meditation and the relation of both to the whole notion of human values and right conduct.

Leaving aside those who have simply given up in disgust, there appear to be two groups that have emerged (though there are considerable variants within each). The first group is made up of those who believe two things: that their experience has shown that spiritual progress is dependent on grace; and that it may be possible to reform John Yarr. That is to say, while they do not condone his behaviour, they still think that he was the cause of their enlightenment (or inner progress, for those are not adepts) and that it is possible that he could fulfil this function in the future. He would not, however, be the God-like figure of the past but rather someone who has a unique spiritual power that can benefit others. This group includes women who were sexually involved with Yarr.

These people are not fools but they are clearly taking a big risk in effect, they are considering climbing back on board a powerful car that has dodgey brakes, which has already gone out of control once and crashed, causing considerable injuries. It also seems as if they are prepared to recommend that first-time passengers should climb aboard too.

One cannot help feeling that perhaps they might convince themselves that the brakes have been fixed when they do not have the skill to be sure. It is not at all clear how they can reform Yarr. After all, what qualifications do they have? They have certainly been taken for a ride up till now. In the light of what has happened, amateur mechanics, however well intentioned, are surely not enough.
The second group consists of those who say that enlightenment is still possible but that it is not, and never has been, dependent on grace - John Yarr's or anybody else's. Rather, it is attained by meditation on light and sound and that is what people in Lifewave did. In fact, they are still doing it and between 15 and 20 of them have claimed this independent enlightenment as a result of their efforts in meditation since September. So all along it was the Inner power of the Lifewave that was operative - and it still is. Hence people can say that their enlightenment is uncontaminated by Yarr and what he has done. He was simply a means to bring them to meditation. Their realization still stands.

This claim sounds plausible but there are three reasons why we should treat it with caution. First, those who are saying all this were saying the exact opposite a few months ago. Then the universal view was that enlightenment was entirely the result of Ishvara's grace. It does not appear, then, that this state carries with it an understanding of itself. Why should we accept the explanation of it given now when the earlier explanation was so monumentally incorrect? Secondly, not only were adepts wrong about their enlightenment, they were wrong about John Yarr - his qualities and behaviour. So enlightenment does not lead to any obvious improvement in perception of other people and the world. This undeniable fact stands in stark contrast to the grandiose claims that were made for adepts and their realization in the Lifewave literature. Lastly, quite a few members of Lifewave behaved badly themselves by colluding, or actually participating, in deceit, hypocrisy and bullying. They are now honest enough to admit that they were brain-washed and corrupted (these are their words, not mine) and that they had completely lost their perspective. But surely one must ask what kind of enlightenment it is that allows such behaviour, not to mention that of Yarr himself. Are we to believe that he was enlightened as well?

How can those in Lifewave who readily admit these three points still claim that the state called enlightenment is genuine? The answer that I have been given is that enlightenment is neutral. It includes the opposites of good and bad, pure and corrupt. Therefore it can allow the betrayal of trust that Yarr has exhibited, collusion in that betrayal by others, and a complete misunderstanding of what enlightenment is and where It comes from.It appears, then, that this enlightenment is entirely self-contained. It does not of itself lead to a development of human values since it is located 'beyond' them. But without a grounding in such values, life ceases to be human and becomes something else, though what that something else is cannot be derived from enlightenment (because nothing is inherently derivable from enlightenment). One adept said to me that because enlightenment obliterates the distinction between oneself and everything else, there is no expectation that things should be a certain way. Hence one can accept them, however they turn out. As he put it, "There's a certain complacency in enlightenment."

We may out of generosity recognize that everyone in Lifewave has his or her excellent qualities as well as faults, and has suffered at Yarr's hands. It takes a degree of self-righteousness to think that we would have behaved any better in the circumstances. We may also, on mature reflection on their efforts and attainments in meditation, agree that the realisation they have reached has its place in the spectrum of consciousness and therefore has its own value. But common sense leads inexorably to the conclusion that this realization is not enough to regulate one's life and indeed can violently distort it (and that of others). In short, all those involved In Lifewave have been out of their depth and they still are.

This is nothing to be ashamed of but it does have to be admitted. No spiritual state, whether it is called enlightenment or not, can make anyone superior to anybody else such that he can assume a privileged position. The 'I know and you don't' attutude is inherently exploitative and always damages those who are persuaded of their inferiority. People in Lifewave have found this out for themselves whatever they may have experienced in meditation. They therefore have a choice. They either continue to assert that they know something that makes them special (which apparently Yarr and his supporters still claim) or they accept that it was the very notion of being special that caused the Lifewave mess in the first place - grotesque antics masquerading as spirituality. The desire for spiritual knowledge should never be denigrated; but if the method of obtaining this knowledge involves convincing other people of their Inferiority, It just isn't worth having.

The author is a Lecturer in Buddhism, University of Lancaster.

This article first appeared in Religion Today, Vol 4, No's 1 & 2 (October 1987).

nature of the Lifewave enlightenment

what is the nature of the Lifewave enlightenment?

When I was in Lifewave in the 1980s there weren't any accounts of people's enlightenment. They talked about it in general terms as if it was the same as Shankara's view of enlightenment. The merging of Atman with Brahman, the realization that Atman and Brahman have never actually been separate, or union with God.

This is the same sort of idea that is found in the Radhasoami and Santmat traditions in India, and with DLM I guess. The philosophy of Lifewave derived more from the teachings of the Theosophical society and from Alice Bailey. However, they all seem to agree on much the same idea of what enlightenment is.

Recently though someone did give an account of their enlightenment experience on an internet forum. Someone called iamthat or Malcolm went through Second Initiation in Lifewave, then after it ceased he went through enlightenment on his own. In my previous post I quoted his account of Second Initiation.

When I read his account I was surprised though. Instead of writing that he merged with Brahman he wrote that everything seemed to be part of him. I will give a fuller quotation at the end of this post but this is the important bit: "I was everywhere. I was the walls, the carpet, the furniture, the space between it all. There was one Being pervading everything, and I was that one Being".

I thought 'Is that it? Is that all?' I didn't think it would be like that. I remembered that somebody else had written a similar account, but I couldn't remember who it was so it took me a while to track down the book. Suzanne Segal in book Collision with the Infinite wrote this:-

"In the midst of a particularly eventful week, I was driving north to meet some friends when I suddenly became aware that I was driving through myself. For years there had been no self at all, yet here on this road, everything was myself, and I was driving through me to arrive at where I already was. In essence, I was going nowhere because I was everywhere already. The infinite emptiness I knew myself to be was now apparent as the infinite substance of everything I saw."

At first I thought that he must have copied from her, especially when you consider this paragraph from iamthat's account:-

"Travelling in a car was also interesting, especially as a passenger. My body was still, and I was still, but there would be all this scenery moving within the stillness. And I could see that I was already at the end of the road, but my body had to move through me to get to where I already was."

Then I realized that quite a few people have had this experience. Ken Wilber, for example, calls it 'One Taste'. Below is a quotation from his book Grace and Grit:-

"That's right. The soul, as I am using the term, is a sort of halfway house, halfway between the personal ego-mind and the impersonal or transpersonal Spirit. The soul is the Witness as it shines forth in you and nobody else. The soul is the home of the Witness in that sense. Once you are established on the soul level, then you are established as the Witness, as the real Self. Once you push through the soul level, then the Witness itself collapses into everything witnessed, or you become one with everything you are aware of. You don't witness the clouds, you are the clouds. That's Spirit."

I found something else on a forum. G Tyler Wright gave his account on Quora.

"After some time in the thought-free state, my awareness expanded. I became my entire surroundings!

I was the bed, I was the closet, I was the door, I was the air. I was everything! I felt like I was awake for the first time in my life! I thought, How could I ever have mistaken myself to be that little body and that little mind?"

What all these accounts share is that they perceived that everything they saw was part of them. Everything they turned their attention towards did not seem to be separate from them. This isn't just a thought or a feeling, it is their perception. It seems to me that this can be better explained by brain functioning than by Hindu philosophy.

Most people's brains work on the basis of Subject and Object. You are the Subject, and something you observe is the Object. They are perceived to be different. This is called the Subject/Object dichotomy. The dichotomy can be overcome, in which case everything seems to be part of you.

The problem though is that everything is not part of you. There is no evidence apart from your altered perception that everything is part of you. If you look at someone and perceive that they are part of you, then you would be able to be aware of their thoughts just as you are aware of your own thoughts. That doesn't happen though.

You might say that enlightenment doesn't necessarily involve telepathy, but in the absence of any independent evidence that it is true we have to say that it is false. There are no psychic powers, you can lie to them (as I did) and they can't tell.

Someone can do this and they think that everything is part of them, or they are part of everything, or they and everything are one. They are at one with the universe. Then they start thinking they must have attained unity with God, or they have merged with Brahman or that they have always been Brahman but only now do they see their true identity. If they have done it all by themselves without a guru then they start thinking they must be the Khalki Avatar or the Maitreya Buddha. This is what happened to John Yarr.

It doesn't make people compassionate, or emotionally stable or less greedy. It could be it does the opposite. It doesn’t free you from the cycle of birth and rebirth because reincarnation isn't true. Neither is any form of life after death.

What's more there are two ways that someone can overcome the Subject/Object dichotomy. You can end up with all Subject and no Object. Or you can end up with all Object and no Subject (no Self). The first is Hindu enlightenment, the second is Buddhist enlightenment. The situation is complicated because some forms of Buddhism such as Tibetan Buddhism may have more in common with Hinduism than early Buddhism.

Some people will say that both forms of enlightenment are the same. When you are everything you are nothing. You are not everything or nothing though. The two forms are different. When I believed in reincarnation I thought that Buddhist enlightenment truly frees you from the cycle of birth and rebirth and Hindu enlightenment does not. Now I don't care what people do, I'm not interested in either path.

The Inner Light and Sound is not a spiritual energy and does not require initiation to experience it. Second Initiation does not take you a higher level of reality. Enlightenment does not help you see reality, free you from rebirth or make you a better person.

When I was told that enlightenment is beyond the mind, that we can never understand it with the mind, I used to accept that. We cannot understand it, only experience it. That made sense to me, because I believed that there were higher levels of reality, beyond the mind. I believed in the occult theory of different planes.

However, the reality of enlightenment seems to be very much to do with this material level of reality. That is what surprised me when I read accounts of enlightenment such as Suzanne Segal's. It seems obvious that it is to do with the way that the brain processes sensory information. That being so, we can understand what it is. There is nothing ineffable about it.

I have edited my original post. I used to think that John Yarr could have been influenced by nondualist teachers, perhaps Krishnamurti. I now no longer think this could be true.

Below is the quote from iamthat about Lifewave enlightenment:-

"It felt as if the entire range of sound was flowing through my spine, from the deepest sound at the base of my spine, to the finest sound at my throat. My head was empty, beyond all sound, and the energy continued to flow. The light was golden-white and brilliant, and I gazed upon it, every part of me striving to surrender. I had no thought except to lose myself in that light, when suddenly the light dissolved. There was just emptiness. The flow of energy which had been so strong suddenly ceased. Everything was still and peaceful. I sat there for a while, enjoying the stillness, but wondering what had happened to all that energy. Eventually I came out of meditation and turned on the light, as the room was now dark.

I was everywhere. I was the walls, the carpet, the furniture, the space between it all. There was one Being pervading everything, and I was that one Being. My body was just another physical object sitting in this one Being. Nothing limited me, nothing interrupted me, I was complete Being. I went downstairs to make a cup of tea, and I was not moving; instead my body was moving in the stillness that was me.

I woke up the next morning, and I was still everywhere. After some more meditation, I went for a walk outside. I was the pavement and the houses and the trees and the sky and the clouds. I was the cars as they drove through the one Being that was me. I was everyone I saw – we were all physical bodies expressing this one Being. There was nothing in this world except me, and I existed without limits.

Travelling in a car was also interesting, especially as a passenger. My body was still, and I was still, but there would be all this scenery moving within the stillness. And I could see that I was already at the end of the road, but my body had to move through me to get to where I already was.
And this has been my daily reality since December 1986. It never changes, it never goes away. The mind is still present, with all its limitations. Emotions are still present, with all their highs and lows. My personality is still there, with all its strengths and weaknesses. But behind it all, unchanging, always present, there is limitless Being. It is hard not to take it for granted; I can spend hours absorbed in daily trivia, and then I pause and gaze around me, and I see myself everywhere. For me, this limitless Being is the only true reality of life."

going beyond form

what is the nature of 'going beyond form' also known as 'Second Initiation'?

This is where there is a shift on consciousness during meditation and you suddenly seem to have entered a vast void. In my opinion it is the same as what Theravada Buddhists call the Sphere of Infinite Space. It is also called the 5th jhana, the first of the formless or arupa jhanas.

This is what Daniel M Ingram has written about the Sphere of Infinite Space in his book Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha "When this state is really cultivated, all or most images and a sense of body are gone, and almost all that is left is vastness.".

I am not sure if it is necessary to go through the first four jhanas to get to the 5th. Perhaps it is just something can occur with some people who have an aptitude for meditation. It seems that people in Lifewave also got to the 6th jhana (the Sphere of Infinite Consciousness). I suspect that they never got to the 7th and 8th jhanas. The last two are not characterized by a sense of vastness.

There is also a 9th jhana, but this is unavailable to people who haven't done insight practices (a whole different axis of development). Ingram mentions a different jhana that isn't mentioned in ancient texts: the 'super-pervading Watcher'. This perhaps is something experienced as a temporary state by insight practitioners but can be a permanent state for others. This may be the Lifewave 'enlightenment', or connected to it, the subject of my next post.

Below I have quoted someone from a forum called iamthat (Malcolm) who was part of Lifewave and who wrote an account of his experience of going beyond form.

"Three of us were sitting down to go beyond form. The first two days passed fairly uneventfully; my mind became slower and slower, and I was getting more and more absorbed in meditation without having any clear idea of what I was meant to be doing. By the third day I was ready to surrender, and I was meditating on the light and sound with all the love and devotion I could manage. The inner light was very clear and bright, when suddenly it was as if some Being reached down and plucked me up into Itself. I found myself resting in a vast void, where all was silent. I don’t know how long I remained in this state, but gradually I returned to normal awareness. I then noticed something had changed. Previously my thoughts seemed to fill my awareness. Now my thoughts occurred only within a small bubble which was contained within my Being. My thoughts did not touch me – instead there was (and still is) a vast part of me which had no relation to thought. Later that evening while eating our rice and toast the three of us compared experiences, and we all seemed to have had similar experiences and realisations at the same time."

Inner Light and Sound

what is the nature of the Inner Light and Sound?

The Inner Light is not seen with the eyes, neither is it something visualized. Some people do visualize or imagine colours in their meditation, but that's not what we're talking about here. I used to believe that the Inner Light and Sound are aspects of a spiritual energy that is always there and we can tap into when we meditate. The idea is that it is divine in origin.

After I left Lifewave I read a book called Journey of Insight Meditation by Eric Lerner. He was a Buddhist but he knew about the Inner Light and encountered it in his meditation. Buddhists call it 'nimitta'. His understanding was limited, but his book showed me that Theravada Buddhist development is very different from the sort of development that I was familiar with from Lifewave.

In Hinduism there are many beliefs, but a dominant one is the idea that we each have an Atman. The Atman is our consciousness, which is not the same thing as our mind. The Atman seems to be separate from Brahman, but this is an illusion that we can overcome. Brahman is the universal or primordial consciousness. This is the teaching of Shankara, one of the most prominent Hindu teachers.

I have never believed in God, but I was willing to accept the possibility of the existence of Brahman. Although 'Brahman' may be translated as 'God', they are not the same. God is a being who has thoughts and feelings, likes and dislikes. Brahman is pure Consciousness.

My interest in the book Journey of Insight Meditation led me to read the books of Buddhists Daniel M Ingram and Culadasa. Culadasa has a lot to say about nimitta. He doesn't explain it as a spiritual force, divine in origin, though. To Culadasa, when the mind has become pacified it begins to function in a different way.

This is from Culadasa's book The Mind Illuminated page 238

"With the senses fully pacified, all but the most intrusive external sounds fade away, and auditory awareness is often dominated by an inner sound; all visual imagery ceases, and the visual sense is often dominated by an inner light;"

Culadasa explains how the Inner Light can develop and how it can be used to enter into different altered states of consciousness. One of these altered states is called by Buddhists the Sphere of Infinite Space, which is the same as the 'going beyond form' or 'Second Initiation' of Lifewave. It is also called the 5th jhana, the first of the formless or arupa jhanas. Jhana is the Pali word for the various altered states of consciousness, and the 5th of them is the subject of my next post.

Below I have quoted someone from a forum called mungojelly who explains very convincingly what the Inner Light actually is.

"There's two different things called "the breath," one which can't sustain jhana and one which can. The actual breath sensations coming from your body are inconsistent, random, patchy, confusing, intermittent. Attending to these actual sensations only creates as much as access concentration, because new breath sensations hit you unpredictably and incline you towards discursive thought.

Along with these actual sensations there is a consistent steady internal model of the breath, created by the mind in the process of attending to the external sensations. That model is the "nimitta" which can produce jhana, because it can be steadily present, because it is produced inside the mind-- you can produce more and more of it, "strengthen" and "purify" it, so that you have more to concentrate on. The external sensations can't be intensified like that, they come and go. So you must latch instead onto this model, which can be made very intense so that your attention on it can be very stable.

The point here is to distinguish two layers of your perception, which usually are so tightly coupled that they seem like one and the same thing. There's actual flickering streams of perceptions coming in through your sense gates, that's one layer, and then also there's an internal model which is continually being corrected using those sensations. 

This model is a mental tool that we're constantly using to interpret sensory data. But it's not actually limited by that data. In order to be able to match any data that comes in, the model is just made of infinitely flexible thoughtstuff. It's like clay that can be molded into anything. In response to sensations we're always habitually adjusting the clay model to rationalize the sensations. Oh, there's a sensation over there? Hmm, well then I guess the body must actually be over here like this, does that fit better? We adjust the model until the sensations coming in align with it, we keep the model dancing along with the sensations, so that we have an idea of what we're in the process of being/doing rather than being in a fuzzy haze of various disconnected sensations. 

So that's why this is tricky. You're trying to tell the difference between two things that are the same thing. One actually is the sensations of breath or whatever. The other one is pretending to be the sensations of breath. This is very convenient, usually, because you don't want to be aware of this distinction usually, you want to move your body around and do things and not think in terms of the various body-like representations in your mind just in terms of the body as one integrated real thing as if you had access to it as a whole coherent thing at once instead of through the weird telegraph network of your nerves, it's a useful handle for the mind, that's the point. But then it's annoyingly seamless when it comes time to try to hack into it. :/ 

So what they mean by saying "nimitta" is any sign that what you're looking at isn't the meditation object after all, but its representation. Becoming light is one stereotypical example of this that happens to people often. This doesn't mean seeing light with your eyes normally, but the breath itself turning into light, which is just the sort of clue you're looking for that something's off. Breath sensations shouldn't really be light, but the modelling clay that you're working with is the same clay used for modelling sight, so it can slip. It's making guesses about what the breath is like, predicting it, modelling it, but you can catch it being flat out wrong. It's just like, um, IDK, is the breath a glowing light now? And usually if that happens for a moment some sensation immediately contradicts it like, um, no, the breath isn't light at all, weird question. But instead you're there paying moment-to-moment attention and you catch it doing that and say, what's this? Aha, got you. 

I describe it as perception having two parts, a guesser and a checker. The guesser only has questions, and the checker only has answers. Specifically it seems what the checker says is "no" when the guesser guesses wrong. The more wrong it is the more it shouts "NO! WRONG! CORRECT THIS!" This makes sense because we're talking about maintaining a model. It's a model of your whole body and mind and perception, so lots of different stuff to juggle. You don't need a bunch of noise coming back from the checker saying "YES! You still have an elbow! YES! You still have a little toe!" Instead for efficiency's sake what makes sense is to just give corrections as things change. If a guess is seriously wrong, the checker will shout how wrong it is, but as guesses get more correct, the checker gets quieter about how wrong they are, until when they're exactly right the checker doesn't respond at all. 

So this is the ancient hack we're applying to this system: If you simply turn the checker off, any guess you make seems right. If a "no" never comes from the checker to correct our model, then that feels exactly the same as if every guess was already spot on and it just didn't need to correct anything. If the sensations coming in from outside aren't allowed to check the model, we can gain direct control of the thoughtstuff that it's made of, and use all of it for the purpose of meditation (instead of the much smaller amount we'd been able to use before). 

The best possible use of that thoughtstuff is of course to use all of it directly for meditation-- this is the 4th jhana. In the scriptures Buddha is said to have used this jhana to attain enlightenment, which makes sense because while technically you could use any jhana, your odds are better using all of the thoughtstuff just for that and not for anything else. But obviously since your normal experience is to use it for maintaining the sensation of having a body, suddenly using it all to meditate with instead is so disorienting that it's recommended you get to that point only very very slowly."

If all of the above sounds implausible then read what the physicist Carlo Rovelli has written in his book Helgoland about the nature of seeing. Page 162. "The brain elaborates an image of what it predicts the eyes should see."

introduction to Lifewave

This blog is intended to be a source of information for people who were part of a cult called Lifewave and anyone else who is interested in it. It will include documents from the time the cult existed and after it broke up, testaments from former members and my own opinions.

I joined Lifewave in the 1980s. It was started by John Yarr (Herbert John Yarr). He went to India to find a guru, but found one back here when he joined the Divine Light Mission (DLM) in 1974. They teach meditation on the Inner Light and Sound. This is a form of meditation found in the Radhasoami and Santmat traditions in the Punjab. There are a few organizations in India each with its own Sikh guru.

John Yarr followed the techniques of DLM and believed that he had become enlightened. He persuaded 4 women* from DLM to accept his teaching and they believed they had become enlightened too. That was the nucleus of the cult that went on to have many members and over 40 supposedly enlightened people before it broke up. It broke up because people found out he was abusing his followers.

I have identified 3 main features of this spiritual path:-

1. meditation on the Inner Light and Sound
2. 'going beyond form' also known as 'Second Initiation'
3. Enlightenment

I have devoted a post to each of these 3 features.

You may wonder why I am still interested in a cult from the last century. Most people will have moved on and lost interest. I have been involved in many spiritual movements but it is this one that opens up the most questions about the nature of true spirituality and where it can go wrong.

John Yarr

There have been articles about John Yarr in Private Eye magazine and in The Sun newspaper.

*Jan, Liz, Mari-Ann and Caroline.